Skip to main content

I QUIT

I QUIT
I QUIT

DONATE TO THIS RANTING DOUCHE?

How To Improve A Dull Script (NOT REALLY! Political Parody!)

!
.

How to improve a Script
.
NOTE: There are 2 versions of the following script.
.
(Version 1) the Dull Version.
.
AND
.
Version 2 The Slightly Better Version.
.
You kinds need to compare both to see where I am going with this.
.
If you happen to be short of time then, by all means, skip version 1 and go straight to version 2.
.
(But the joke will not be as funny)
.
.
Version 1 the Dull Script.
.
.
Scene:
.
Average home living room House full of young children, two children are on the couch bickering.
.
Tired Parent:
.
“Right you lot, I am getting a bit grumpy now! Please, can you all learn to sit down?”
.
.
Child 1 Medive:
.
"Amed hit me! Tell Him!"
.
.
Child 2 Amed:
.
"Medive stole my spot on the couch I was here first!"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"Medive give your bother his spot back if he was there first!"
.
.
Medive:
.
"Jed said I could have this spot!"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"Jed is not in charge! I am! (Parent turns their head towards the door) Jed! JED! Get in here. Now JED!"
.
.
Enter Jed: as Stroppy slightly bigger and older child Holding a toy gun, the sort that fire foam darts.
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"Jed! Since when where you entitled to allocate spots in MY house! The couch is Mine, the whole house is Mine."
.
.
Jed:
.
<mumbles while fiddling with the toy gun>
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"Would you put that thing down, you only ever cause trouble and usually end up hurting yourself with it!"
.
.
Jed:
.
"I Don’t wanna! It’s My Gun you can’t take it!"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"I think you’d find I could young man! What gave you heirs and graces to be able to allocate spots on the couch?"
.
.
Jed:
.
"Just wanted to keep the kids occupied, and somewhere else to go other than My room! I got my own stuff I want to do!"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"You cannot do that Jed! Again you do not own this place, I love you and welcome you. It is your Home, But you DO NOT OWN IT! Don't treat it as if you do! Are we clear?"
.
.
Jed:
.
<in sulky tone> Suppose so.
.
.
Amends and Medive's fighting escalates.
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"For heaven's sake you two! No one is even going to remember whose spot was whos by this time tomorrow, just play nicely together!"
.
.
Jed:
.
"China acts like She owns the place too?"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"And when I see China I will tell her off too, And while she does disrespect me, at least she is trying to clean up this place! Seriously it is a Total Mess! You won’t be able to stand living here for much longer if you don’t start working on cleaning this place up! It's all your Mess!"
.
.
Jed:
.
"You can't throw us out! We live here."
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"I love you all equally, I am not throwing anyone out, I meant you Literally won't be able to live here because the place will become uninhabitable! You all need to start pulling your weight and clean this crap up! And not just leave China to do it!"
.
.
Jed:
.
"She made the worst mess!"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"Yes, and she is cleaning that up AND yours! While you still continue to add to the problem!"
.
.
Jed:
.
"She does not even like you! You Know! She thinks you’re a Dick!"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"Language! To be honest, I don’t care at this moment, I still love her as much as you and your brothers, I don’t care for now, as long as your health it not badly affected by living here! It is your home! It is Your Mess! Please, Pretty Please with sugar on top! Clean this house UP!"
.
.
Jed:
.
"Why don’t you clean it up! You're supposed to look after us!"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"Because my main job as Parent is to teach you to look after yourselves! To become independent and Self Reliant! You are not Entitled to just coast through life getting what you want!"
.
.
Jed:
.
"Am So!"
.
.
Tired Parent:
.
"I am getting a little sick and tired of your attitude and this millennial self-entitled crap you keep pulling JED! Stop it! Stop it Now! I told your brother Charles and now I am telling you! Realise you are no more or less important or more or fewer loved than any of the other children in this house! Understand! Please stop fiddling with that stupid toy and listen to me when I am talking to you!"
.
.
Jed:
.
"I am special! I am! I am! I am!"
.
<Jed storms out in a huff>
.
.
END
.
!


!
.
Well, that was a really Really dull script! Shit that was dull!
.
Lets now try and improve it by a few very subtle changes,
.
See if you can spot them ALL?
.
.
Version 2, Slightly improved Script
.
.
Scene:
.
Average home living room House full of young children, two children are on the couch bickering.
.
.
GOD:
.
“Right you lot, I am getting a bit grumpy now! Please, can you all learn to sit down!”
.
.
Child 1 Isreal:
.
"Palestine hit me! Tell Him!"
.
.
Child 2 Palatine:
.
"Isreal stole my spot in the world I was here first!"
.
.
God:
.
"Isreal give your bother his spot back if he was there first!
.
.
Isreal:
.
"America said I could have this spot!"
.
.
GOD:
.
"America is not in charge! I am! (God turns their head towards the door) America! AMERICA! Get in here. Now AMERICA!"
.
.
Enter America: as Stroppy slightly bigger and older child Holding a Second Amendment, the sort that gets people killed.
.
.
God:
.
"America! Since when where you entitled to allocate spots on MY Earth! The Earth is Mine, the whole Universe is Mine."
.
.
America:
.
<mumbles while fiddling with the Second Amendment>
.
.
GOD:
.
"Would you put that thing down, you only ever cause trouble and usually end up hurting yourself with it!"
.
.
America:
.
"I Don’t wanna! It’s My Second Amendment you can’t take it!"
.
.
GOD:
.
"I think you’d find I could young man! What gave you heirs and graces to be able to allocate spots on the Planet?"
.
.
America:
.
"Just wanted to keep the kids occupied, and somewhere else to go other than My Country! I got my own stuff I want to do!"
.
.
GOD:
.
"You cannot do that America! Again you do not own this place, I love you and welcome you. It is your Home, But you DO NOT OWN IT! Don't treat it as if you do! Are we clear?"
.
.
America:
.
<in sulky tone> "Suppose so."
.
.
Palestine and Isreal ’s fighting escalate.
.
.
GOD:
.
"For heaven's sake you two! No one is even going to remember whose spot was whos I a mere million years time! Just play nicely together!"
.
.
America:
.
"China acts like She owns the place too?"
.
.
GOD:
.
"And when I see China I will tell her off too, And while she does disrespect me, at least she is trying to clean up this place! Seriously it is a Total Mess, you won’t be able to stand living here for much longer if you don’t start working on cleaning this place up! It's all your Mess!"
.
.
America:
.
"You can't throw us out! We live here."
.
.
GOD:
.
"I love you all equally, I am not throwing anyone out, I meant you Literally won't be able to live here because the place will become uninhabitable! You all need to start pulling your weight and clean this crap up! And not just leave China to do it!"
.
.
America:
.
"She made the worst mess!"
.
.
GOD:
.
"Yes, and she is cleaning that up AND yours! While you still continue to add to the problem!"
.
.
America:
.
"She does not even like you! You Know! She thinks your just a Morphiate for the Masses!"
.
.
GOD:
.
"Language! To be honest, I don’t care at this moment, I still love her as much as you and your brothers, I don’t care for now, as long as your health it not badly affected by living here! It is your home! It is Your Mess! Please, Pretty Please with sugar on top! Clean this Planet UP!"
.
.
America:
.
"Why don’t you clean it up! You're supposed to look after us!"
.
.
GOD:
.
"Because of my main job as God, is to teach you to look after yourself! To become independent and Self Reliant! You are not Entitled to just coast through History getting what you want!"
.
.
America:
.
"Am So!"
.
.
GOD:
.
"I am getting a little sick and tired of your attitude and this Manifest Destiney crap you keep pulling AMERICA! Stop it! Stop it Now! I told your brother the United Kingdom and now I am telling you! Realise you are no more or less important or more or fewer loved than any of the other children on this Planet! Understand! Please stop fiddling with that stupid Amendment and listen to me when I am talking to you!"
.
.
America:
.
"I am special! I am! I am! I am!"
.
<America storms out in a huff>
.
.
END
.
!



!
.
Did you spot all the changes?
.
.
How much did you think the changes improved what would otherwise be a really dull piece of writing?
.
.
!




.

.

.

.

Comments

Why THIS blog?

Why THIS blog?
Why THIS blog?

£50 Grade 1 add type

£50 Grade 1 add type
£50 Grade 1 add type

ARE THESE RANTS TOO HARSH?

YOUR CHOSEN CONTENT IS BELOW,
JUST SCROLL DOWN A LITTLE BIT MORE!

THIS PAGE MAY CONTAIN SWEARING, DRUG AND SEX REFERENCES!

ARE THESE RANTS TOO HARSH?

SQUEAK!

Then please go instead to the Much Milder more “public friendly"

www.mouselombot.co.uk

STANDING NOTICES!

£25 Grade 2 add type

£25 Grade 2 add type
£25 Grade 2 add type

THE BIG LIST OF RAT GEEK PAGE RANTS!

£25 Grade 2 add type

£25 Grade 2 add type
£25 Grade 2 add type

THE BIG LIST OF RAT SCIENCE PAGE RANTS!

£25 Grade 2 add type

£25 Grade 2 add type
£25 Grade 2 add type

GO GREEN! SAVE THE HUMAN RACE FROM EXTINCTION!

£25 Grade 2 add type

£25 Grade 2 add type
£25 Grade 2 add type

THE BIG LIST OF RAT ART PAGE RANTS!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT HEALTH PAGE RANTS!

DAD RANT! WILL YOU BLOODY KIDS PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP!

Grade 2 Add here for £25 a month

Grade 2 Add here for £25 a month
Grade 2 Add here for £25 a month

RATs Furry Feinds, Friends, Beloved Pets and Cuddle Stars!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT MONEY PAGE RANTS!

Grade 2 ADD £25 a month

Grade 2 ADD £25 a month
Grade 2 ADD £25 a month

THE BIG LIST OF RAT SEX AND GENDER PAGE RANTS!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT ANTI RACE BIGOTRY AND ANTI FAITH BIGOTRY PAGE RANTS!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT ANTI-HOMOPHOBIC PAGE RANTS!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT CRIME PAGE RANTS!

25£ Slot

25£ Slot
25£ Add Space

THE BIG LIST OF RAT POLITICAL PAGE RANTS!

Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month

Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month
Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month

Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month

Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month
Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month

My Faith.

I HATE THESE VIEWS! THE ANTI CENSORSHIP POLICY OF MY BLOG!!

Grade 3 Add here for £10 a month

Grade 3 Add here for £10 a month
Grade 3 Add here for £10 a month

THE BIG LIST OF RAT JUST PLAIN WEIRD PAGE RANTS!

Add Here for £10 a Month

Add Here for £10 a Month
Grade 3 Add Here for £10 a Month

£10 grade 3 add type

£10 grade 3 add type
£10 grade 3 add type

£10 grade 3 add type

£10 grade 3 add type
£10 grade 3 add type

Let Me Into Your Box!

SEARCH! For other rants!

Rants You Hate Less Than The Others!

GEEK ATTACK! The support ticket I filled out for Blizzard Games.

! . The support ticket I filled out for Blizzard Games. . I have had a particularly tough year, . One small highlight was watching BlizzCon live with the virtual ticket. . So I managed, with a bit of sacrifice, to not only find the money for the (now more expensive ticket) but also £20 worth of Pizza to make the whole night a bit of a personal occasion. . But halfway through the Overwatch part of the opening ceremony, the feed kept closing, changing to the wrong language, and this kept happening to the point that it became unstable! . Yes,, while I can watch it all again later when OR if it is fixed, but it is is not the same. It has not got the same energy as seeing that opening ceremony live and hearing the cool stuff, first hand. . Maybe I put too much   store  i n this one treat to make life seem a little better at the moment, and of course part of me knows that I am overreacting, but I am just too psychologically tired now to even feel angry. . I am sorry, . But I am done. . Thi

GEEK ATTACK! WAS Thanos VERY STUPID! OR VERY WISE??!! The Solution He COULD have used! AND the one reason he might not have chosen to use it! V3

GEEK ATTACK! WAS Thanos VERY STUPID! OR VERY WISE??!! The Solution He COULD have used! AND the one reason he might not have chosen to use it!  The newest content is below the intro piece, Scroll past previous content a short way to get to it!  (NOTE:  NOT MY MEME!  PURLEY POSTED  TO SHOW WHAT I AM REPLYING TOO!)  I reckon Thanos WILL have made a load to new for the resources for the universe! BUT Let us assume the MCU abides by the rule that "energy cannot be created," But if energy cannot be created he would have to take the raw energy needed to create those resources from somewhere. Find something he deems expendable to reduce disassemble and to mere energy to redistribute to resource creation! I wonder where he could have gotten the extra energy to make those resources. Does anyone happen to have any bright ideas? PPS WAS Thanos VERY STUPID! OR VERY WISE??!! The Solution He COULD have us

I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TOMMY ROBINSON! If Anyone happens to see that Tommy person! Please remind him that my open challenge to him is still waiting to be accepted! Pass it on!

. I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TOMMY ROBINSON! . If Anyone happens to see that Tommy person! Please remind him that my open challenge to him is still waiting to be accepted! Pass it on! . . . It took over 5 hours to collate this data and work out these figures! . . . ! . But you can not compare white people with Muslims! . They are two different categories! . But this fact is what makes the extrapolated math possible. . I felt safe in making and combining the 2 following assumptions. , 1) . That a maximum of 2% of the Muslim population in the UK was White. . And . 2) . That a maximum of 2% of White people in the UK was Muslim . These are the only assumption in the math that was done, all the rest was achieved using solid figures! . If the target chosen by the racist had been a faith that had been largely white then the mathematical extrapolation could not have been safely done and their lies revealed. . I love the irony that this is one time a type of “Ra

HEADS UP MATH NERDS! There is a new sexy form of statistical analysis in town!

! . HEADS UP MATH NERDS! . . There is a new form of widely used statistical analysis that typically presents its data on a 0-100% scale. . Know as the POOAS method. . It is now the most widely used form of data presentation in the world! . Now used globally by all governments a staggering 84.3 % of the time! . Yet you may not yet have ever heard of it. . . . . THE POOAS Method! . . . . PROUDLY ONLY PRINTED ON NON-GMO PAPER! . PROUDLY  ONLY USES NON-GMO INK! . . From S. A Chasim. PHucD. OCD. With a Forward By Dr Jonathan Swift. DM . ONLY £6.66p GBP! CLICK HERE  TO GET YOURS! . https://www.lombot.co.uk/p/fake-warning-do-not-publih.html . . . . . THE  POOAS   Method! . . . ( Pulled Out Of Arse Statistics!)  . . Used by a Politician or Lobbyist near you!. . ! . HELP! . I have a crap load of books everywhere! . I do not put them in any order! . I am super untidy, . I have not been able to find my book about "Applied Chaos Th

GEEK ATTACK! ROCKSTAR GTA MEMES ONLY! (Out of date!)

NOTE! VERY IMPORTANT Please Only Use Main Page Version for the most update GTA RAT RANTS!  Thank You! Link Here! https://lombot.blogspot.com/p/dear-rockstar.html

Parliament : Make cannabis oil (THC & CBD) legal and available on the NHS

Hello, I just signed the petition, “Parliament: Make cannabis oil (THC & CBD) legal and available on the NHS.” I think this is important. Will you sign it too? Here’s the link: https://www.change.org/p/parliament-make-cannabis-oil-thc-cbd-legal-and-available-on-the-nhs?utm_medium=email&utm_source=petition_signer_receipt&utm_campaign=triggered&share_context=signature_receipt&recruiter=728310557 CLICK HERE 2 reasons, 1) Common sense from a medical standpoint. 2) To help undermine organised crime, Thanks, Ross PS Relevant Link to Spoof Meme Bellow,  CLICK HERE FOR RELEVANT SPOOF MEME!  Illegal Cannabis WILL cause YOU Mental Health problems and Harm YOU! HOWEVER! I STILL Think Cannabis SHOULD be Legalised! CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT WHY!

THE GREAT NHS GIVEAWAY! V4! THE PASSIVE RESISTANCE CAMPAIGN! #NHSCrisis

#NHSCrisis THE GREAT NHS GIVEAWAY! UPDATE! I am doing this! Just one rule! ONLY accept and take completely FREE treatments,  If it cost even a single penny then refuse to buy it!  Whos with me! Even if I am a just lone nut out here screaming against the darkness unsupported! I am doing it anyway! NO COMPROMISE! If we give an inch they will take a mile!  Please Read  Caroline J Molloy's Article, The NHS, cuts and privatisation – an emergency but not an accident https://labourlist.org/2018/03/the-nhs-cuts-and-privatisation-an-emergency-but-not-an-accident/ There is also this article. From TruPublica Demolition of UK welfare state planned with corporate America http://truepublica.org.uk/united-kingdom/demolition-uk-welfare-state-planned-corporate-america/ Plus this from the Mirror . 'Selling off NHS for profit': Full list of MPs with links to private healthcare firms https://www.mirror.co.uk/news

When a 7-year-old girl is allowed to die of dehydration in a facility mere meters away from a water tap!

! . When a 7-year-old girl is allowed to die of dehydration in a facility mere meters away from a water tap! . If things have gotten this bad. . When things have gotten to this point! . Then the “Far Right” has already won. . I am within 3 inches of commenting suicide. . Because I would rather be dead than live in their world. . I wonder which is the greater sin in Gods eyes, Suicide or walking into a Far Right stronghold such as the EDL (in the UK) and just randomly stabbing these Nazi people? . . https://www.facebook.com/NowThisOpinions/videos/1240590596080443/?t=1 . !

What if a US presidential candidate refuses to concede after an election...

SYRIA! Put better than I can: A quote from Michael Rosen

Put better than I can.... From Michael Rosen His Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/michael.rosen.5496?hc_ref=ARRbjdi2NifpfIH9mM4-wcwNlEHqQs-YZjGYx-0Q5zzM7dWSeK_YqAvhTAH6AwUQ_as&fref=nf "People who've led lives growing up in suburbs, in comfortable homes, going to schools with glorious playing fields, playing in orchestras, playing in teams, find themselves in power in the parliament of the UK, equipped as it is with rockets and bombs, with a history of strutting across huge areas of the earth's surface, ruling over millions, still talking of 'spheres of influence' and 'our strategic interests', acting as if it is a right and a duty to decide what is or is no t a humanitarian crisis, what is or is not the humanitarian crisis that it has to 'respond to', what is or is not the legitimate target to fire rockets and bombs at...and journalists and politicians lower down the food chain, sit and debate the finer points of this as if, ye

Archive List!

Show more

Grade 3 £10 Add

Grade 3 £10 Add
Grade 3 ADD £10 Per Month

Blog Logo

Blog Logo
Contact RatLombot@GMail.Com

DONATE TO THIS RANTING DOUCHE?

The Main Part About Ranting Is Repeating Yourself!