A DECLARATION OF PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE!

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A DECLARATION OF PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE!
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I did NOT want sex
I did NOT even want to be kissed
I just wanted to be held for ten minutes.
Less than half the length of your average sitcom episode.
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But ‘They’ were “Too busy” and had “Too much to do”

I was feeling lost, defeated, and broken.

I made it clear that is how I felt

Yet all I was worth was a token begrudged brief shoulder squeeze.

I was far too inconvenient to deal with.

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In my vulnerable, shaken, state,

All I could muster back to say was,

“Fair enough,”

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I spent most of the night being upset about this.

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By the time the sun rose,

I realised that this situation was my fault.

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It is both a good and noble thing to be a source of strength for other people.

BUT

I forgot,

It is NEVER ok to rely on anyone or anything else to be a source of strength for yourself.

Only You, Yourself are ever responsible for providing that.

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I forget to stay independent and strong.

I have now been reminded.

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When you snap,

Then you will snap

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When you break,

Then you will break.

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When you can no longer charge,

Then you run.

When you can no longer run,

Then you march,

When you can no longer march,

Then you walk.

When you can no longer walk,

Then you stagger.

When you can no longer stager,

Then you crawl.

When you can no longer crawl,

Then you simply stare defiantly at an uncaring universe and stick two fingers up at it.

But don’t bother crying for your “Mama”

Because Mama won't be there.

Don’t bother crying for your “Mercy”

Because Mercy will not be there.

Don’t bother crying to God

Because God will just judge you too harsly from his high horse and sneer at your helpless arse!

Die, in that muddy field, without reducing yourself to begging.

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Show mercy and charity to others

Carry others in need, if and when they need it.

Do the right thing.

That is every fellow human being's correct duty.

BUT NEVER expect the right thing!

EVER!

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Every human is only special in their own personal self obsessed story.

But you…

No matter how much they profess to care about you,

You are just one of the side characters in the story of others.

You are just a Red Star Trek Shirt.

You are just a Star Wars Storm Trooper

You are just yet another nameless Lord of the Rings Goblin.

You are just a mere trash mob.

You ARE disposable!

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To most others, even those closest to you, “They” are the only true stars in “Their” show!

To most others, even those closest to you, “They” are the only “Real” characters in “Their” game of life!

To most others, even those closest to you, Only “They” are special!

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That is why hardly anyone believes in self-sacrifice anymore.

That is why hardly anyone is willing to throw themselves on a figurative grenade to save others anymore.

That is why hardly anyone is willing to throw themselves on a literal grenade to save others anymore.

That is why “They” are all so frightened of dying.

Yet “They” are all unable to feel terrified at the thought of the constant suffering of the helpless worldwide.

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This Fact, is NOT Their fault.

They are Not “Bad” people.

They are Not “Weak” people.

They are just “Human” people.

Nothing else can be reasonably be expected of most of them.

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While I have always known this

I needed to be reminded.

To self realise again, my real self.

So, Thank You.

That “person”.

That so-called “wife” of mine.

For not giving me that silly hug.

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I needed that.

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