!
.
Dear Publisher
.
Sorry for asking.
.
And I do not mean to offend
.
.
But before I go to the effort of submissions I have to ask
.
"Are you real"
.
Because I have lost count of the number of times I have been tricked by
.
"How to write" or "How to get published" courses pretending to be publishers
.
OR
.
Pseudo publishers who want to charge you a large free to publish your book, along with exorbitant promises and sunshine, blown up my backside.
.
If however you ONLY want my work "IF" it is good enough and you would ONLY be paying me,
Then please let me know!
And I will then enthusiastically submit a few things this weekend!
.
!
.
CALLING ALL FELLOW FRUSTRATED ARTIST AND WRITERS!
.
I AM NOT TRYING TO SELL YOU ANYTHING OR TAKE YOU MONEY!
.
The Writers and Artist Rogue Rouge Artist Kollective
.
T W A a R R K
.
There are 3 bits to this page.
.
.
CALLING ALL FELLOW FRUSTRATED ARTIST AND WRITERS!
.
.
I AM NOT TRYING TO SELL YOU ANYTHING OR TAKE YOU MONEY!
.
.
.
There are 3 bits to this page.
.
1)
WHY!
Why I have this idea,
You can pretty much skip this bit,
Unless you like dark satirical rants!
.
2)
WHERE!
Where I will park the first home of this idea!
.
3)
HOW!
.
.
WHY!
.
I am So sick of all the fake "looking for talent" advertisements
.
SUBMIT YOUR BOOK HERE!
.
PUBLISHERS LOOKING FOR WRITERS!
.
BLOGS LOOKING FOR AUTHORS!
.
Blah Blah BOLLOCKs!
.
You can spend a half say throwing up 5 k of words to ingratiate yourself with such bullshit customers,
.
Only to find out that they are not interested in the slightest in looking for writers or authors.
.
What they ARE interested in is
.
SELLING YOU
.
CRAPPY WRITERS GUIDES
.
CRAPPY PUBLISHING GUIDES
.
.
OR WORST OF THE LOT
.
HOW TO BE A WRITER/ BETTER WRITER COURSES!
.
Which
.
A)
.
If I had the start-up capital I could knock up such a course myself to squeeze money out of peoples dreams,
And it would be just as good and be of equal value!
IE, Worth nothing!
.
AND
.
B)
.
"IF" I have the money and I was going to "invest in myself",
It would NOT be on any of those bullshit courses,
Instead,
It would be an accredited qualification,
Anything from a First Aid, or GCSE up to a Second Open University Degree!
.
Yes, It is true I prefer a conversational style with stretched to breaking point grammar and littered with excess tautologies.
Because I like Dialogue style writing, that mimics peoples real speech patterns.
.
I also use needless "Point of Sale" capitalisation,
Because sometimes selling a product or idea in an eye-catching way is not the conducive to the good grammar and the same layout style as a CV or textbook.
I prefer Advertisement/copywriter rules INSTEAD of A-Level Literature rules!
.
But those are just style preferences
I can also write in a bunch of totally different styles as well!.
If a customer wants any of those more conventional forms of text, Then I can do that!
.
They will usually end up selling less stuff!
But if they are not going to take my advice,
Then I will just do as I am told and take their money!
.
And yes, I do occasionally have horrendous embarrassing spelling errors.
But that's just either lack of sleep or Dyslexia, Not because I am stupid!
.
There is NO uncredited course on this earth that has anything to teach me!
.
And even "if" they did, (which they don't) I have no money anyway!
.
I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND MY MONEY ON THEIR SHIT!
!
I WANT THEM SPEND THEIR MONEY TO BUY MY STUFF!
.
People keep inferring that I am some sort of rebel or anarchist
I don't see it myself,
But people keep inferring it anyway.
(and not as a compliment!)
.
So I might as well run with it and do something a bit rebellious.
.
.
WHERE!
.
So, here is the idea,
.
I will create a page on this site "RAT LOMBOT RANTS"
The address is written in your search bar as
Then with no added spaces add
.
(Fartbook has banned my site as a direct link, So, ok, maybe I am a little bit rebellious, just a very small tad!)
.
It's the Fifth section down headed with this picture!
.
Under the Art Section!
.
.
.
Right Under the
GO GREEN! SAVE THE HUMAN RACE FROM EXTINCTION!
.
But
.
Above the
.
THE BIG LIST OF RAT HEALTH PAGE RANTS!
.
It will just start out as the one page for now,
Later is if is popular enough I will start its own section to itself,
Maybe eventually, one day,
I will create a whole bespoke website for it!
.
But for now, in case the idea goes nowhere, it will be just one page!
.
Under this one in the index!
.
At first, it will just be blank, saying "awaiting content" with we link to this page!
.
Here will be the first small home of
.
.
.
.
HOW!
.
How what?
.
You tell me!
.
This is as far as I have gotten with the idea,
.
...(So Far)
.
At first, I assume, it will just be an informal independent writer and Artist support group.
.
But it may have the potential to grow to be far more than that!
.
If you are interested then Email me at:
.
.
And together, we will take it from there!
.
.
.
Dear Publisher
.
Sorry for asking.
.
And I do not mean to offend
.
.
But before I go to the effort of submissions I have to ask
.
"Are you real"
.
Because I have lost count of the number of times I have been tricked by
.
"How to write" or "How to get published" courses pretending to be publishers
.
OR
.
Pseudo publishers who want to charge you a large free to publish your book, along with exorbitant promises and sunshine, blown up my backside.
.
If however you ONLY want my work "IF" it is good enough and you would ONLY be paying me,
Then please let me know!
And I will then enthusiastically submit a few things this weekend!
.
Yours
Ross Edward Fortune Lombardi,
BA (Print Media)
.
.
.
I am very Anti ALL "Courses",
Write ONLY as YOU!
You are ALL already MORE than good enough!
.
!
Where ever "they", say "Improve your writing"
I hear "We promote Homogenization of the craft," Instead!
.
.
!
.
I am no way implying that this observation applies to the courses of the Dreame Academy in any way, shape, or form.
.
BUT
.
Certain 'other' writing groups pretend to love someone's work to sell the courses.
.
For such groups, the selling, of courses, is a vital “Cash Cow”!
.
If all your courses are totally free to all signed writers, then I unreservedly apologise.
.
“IF” however they cost ANY amount of money.
.
Then I would highly recommend instead (even if it cost more) for people to their local college and get an ‘A level’ or perhaps even a Degree instead!
.
But that is only my humble, meagre, opinion…
.
!
.
I am no way implying that this observation applies to the courses of the Dreame Academy in any way, shape, or form.
.
BUT
.
Certain 'other' writing groups pretend to love someone's work to sell the courses.
.
For such groups, the selling, of courses, is a vital “Cash Cow”!
.
If all your courses are totally free to all signed writers, then I unreservedly apologise.
.
“IF” however they cost ANY amount of money.
.
Then I would highly recommend instead (even if it cost more) for people to their local college and get an ‘A level’ or perhaps even a Degree instead!
.
But that is only my humble, meagre, opinion…
.
!
.
Site admin cut n paste version.
.
!
.
CALLING ALL FELLOW FRUSTRATED ARTIST AND WRITERS!
.
I AM NOT TRYING TO SELL YOU ANYTHING OR TAKE YOU MONEY!
.
The Writers and Artist Rogue Rouge Artist Kollective
.
T W A a R R K
.
There are 3 bits to this page.
.
.
1)
.
WHY!
.
Why I have this idea,
You can pretty much skip this bit,
Unless you like dark satirical rants!
.
2)
WHERE!
Where I will park the first home of this idea!
.
3)
HOW!
.
.
WHY!
.
I am So sick of all the fake "looking for talent" advertisements
.
SUBMIT YOUR BOOK HERE!
.
PUBLISHERS LOOKING FOR WRITERS!
.
BLOGS LOOKING FOR AUTHORS!
.
Blah Blah BOLLOCKs!
.
You can spend a half say throwing up 5 k of words to ingratiate yourself with such bullshit customers,
.
Only to find out that they are not interested in the slightest in looking for writers or authors.
.
What they ARE interested in is
.
SELLING YOU
.
CRAPPY WRITERS GUIDES
.
CRAPPY PUBLISHING GUIDES
.
OR WORST OF THE LOT
.
HOW TO BE A WRITER/ BETTER WRITER COURSES!
.
Which
.
A)
.
If I had the start-up capital I could knock up such a course myself to squeeze money out of peoples dreams,
And it would be just as good and be of equal value!
IE, Worth nothing!
.
AND
.
B)
.
"IF" I have the money and I was going to "invest in myself",
It would NOT be none of those bullshit courses,
Instead,
It would be an accredited qualification,
Anything from a First Aid, or GCSE up to a Second Open University Degree!
.
Yes, It is true I prefer a conversational style with stretched to breaking point grammar and littered with excess tautologies.
Because I like Dialogue style writing, that mimics peoples real speech patterns.
.
I also use needless "Point of Sale" capitalisation,
Because sometimes selling a product or idea in an eye-catching way is not the conducive to the good grammar and the same layout style as a CV or textbook.
I prefer Advertisement/copywriter rules INSTEAD of A-Level Literature rules!
.
But those are just style preferences
I can also write in a bunch of totally different styles as well!.
If a customer wants any of those more conventional forms of text, Then I can do that!
.
They will usually end up selling less stuff!
But if they are not going to take my advice,
Then I will just do as I am told and take their money!
.
And yes, I do occasionally have horrendous embarrassing spelling errors.
But that's just either lack of sleep or Dyslexia, Not because I am stupid!
.
There is NO uncredited course on this earth that has anything to teach me!
.
And even "if" they did, (which they don't) I have no money anyway!
.
I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND MY MONEY ON THEIR SHIT!
!
.
I WANT THEM SPEND THEIR MONEY TO BUY MY STUFF!
.
People keep inferring that I am some sort of rebel or anarchist
I don't see it myself,
But people keep inferring it anyway.
(and not as a compliment!)
.
So I might as well run with it and do something a bit rebellious.
.
.
WHERE!
.
So, here is the idea,.
I will create a page on MY site.
.
1)
.
WHY!
.
Why I have this idea,
You can pretty much skip this bit,
Unless you like dark satirical rants!
.
2)
WHERE!
Where I will park the first home of this idea!
.
3)
HOW!
.
.
WHY!
.
I am So sick of all the fake "looking for talent" advertisements
.
SUBMIT YOUR BOOK HERE!
.
PUBLISHERS LOOKING FOR WRITERS!
.
BLOGS LOOKING FOR AUTHORS!
.
Blah Blah BOLLOCKs!
.
You can spend a half say throwing up 5 k of words to ingratiate yourself with such bullshit customers,
.
Only to find out that they are not interested in the slightest in looking for writers or authors.
.
What they ARE interested in is
.
SELLING YOU
.
CRAPPY WRITERS GUIDES
.
CRAPPY PUBLISHING GUIDES
.
OR WORST OF THE LOT
.
HOW TO BE A WRITER/ BETTER WRITER COURSES!
.
Which
.
A)
.
If I had the start-up capital I could knock up such a course myself to squeeze money out of peoples dreams,
And it would be just as good and be of equal value!
IE, Worth nothing!
.
AND
.
B)
.
"IF" I have the money and I was going to "invest in myself",
It would NOT be none of those bullshit courses,
Instead,
It would be an accredited qualification,
Anything from a First Aid, or GCSE up to a Second Open University Degree!
.
Yes, It is true I prefer a conversational style with stretched to breaking point grammar and littered with excess tautologies.
Because I like Dialogue style writing, that mimics peoples real speech patterns.
.
I also use needless "Point of Sale" capitalisation,
Because sometimes selling a product or idea in an eye-catching way is not the conducive to the good grammar and the same layout style as a CV or textbook.
I prefer Advertisement/copywriter rules INSTEAD of A-Level Literature rules!
.
But those are just style preferences
I can also write in a bunch of totally different styles as well!.
If a customer wants any of those more conventional forms of text, Then I can do that!
.
They will usually end up selling less stuff!
But if they are not going to take my advice,
Then I will just do as I am told and take their money!
.
And yes, I do occasionally have horrendous embarrassing spelling errors.
But that's just either lack of sleep or Dyslexia, Not because I am stupid!
.
There is NO uncredited course on this earth that has anything to teach me!
.
And even "if" they did, (which they don't) I have no money anyway!
.
I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND MY MONEY ON THEIR SHIT!
!
.
I WANT THEM SPEND THEIR MONEY TO BUY MY STUFF!
.
People keep inferring that I am some sort of rebel or anarchist
I don't see it myself,
But people keep inferring it anyway.
(and not as a compliment!)
.
So I might as well run with it and do something a bit rebellious.
.
.
WHERE!
.
So, here is the idea,.
I will create a page on MY site.
.
You will have to find it yourself!
.
In your search bar type...
.
Lom
.
THEN with no added spaces add
.
bot.
.
THEN with no added spaces add
.
co.
.
THEN with no added spaces add
.
uk/
Lom
.
THEN with no added spaces add
.
bot.
.
THEN with no added spaces add
.
co.
.
THEN with no added spaces add
.
uk/
.
(Fartbook has banned my site as a direct link, So, ok, maybe I am a little bit rebellious, just a very small tad!)
.
.
.
.
Under the Art Section!
.
.
Right Under the
.
GO GREEN! SAVE THE HUMAN RACE FROM EXTINCTION!
.
But
.
Above the
.
THE BIG LIST OF RAT HEALTH PAGE RANTS!
.
It will just start out as the one page for now,
.
.
.
Right Under the
.
GO GREEN! SAVE THE HUMAN RACE FROM EXTINCTION!
.
But
.
Above the
.
THE BIG LIST OF RAT HEALTH PAGE RANTS!
.
It will just start out as the one page for now,
.
Later is if is popular enough I will start its own section to itself,
Maybe eventually, one day,
I will create a whole bespoke website for it!
.
But for now, in case the idea goes nowhere, it will be just one page!
.
Under this one in the index!
.
At first, it will just be blank, saying "awaiting content" with we link to this page!
.
Here will be the first small home of
.
T W A a R R K
.
The Writers and Artist Rogue Rouge Artist Kollective
.
.
HOW!
.
How what?
.
You tell me!
.
This is as far as I have gotten with the idea,
.
...(So Far)
.
At first, I assume, it will just be an informal independent writer and Artist support group.
.
But it may have the potential to grow to be far more than that!
.
If you are interested then Email me at:
.
RATLOMBOT@GMail.Com!
.
And together, we will take it from there!
.
!
Maybe eventually, one day,
I will create a whole bespoke website for it!
.
But for now, in case the idea goes nowhere, it will be just one page!
.
Under this one in the index!
.
At first, it will just be blank, saying "awaiting content" with we link to this page!
.
Here will be the first small home of
.
T W A a R R K
.
The Writers and Artist Rogue Rouge Artist Kollective
.
.
HOW!
.
How what?
.
You tell me!
.
This is as far as I have gotten with the idea,
.
...(So Far)
.
At first, I assume, it will just be an informal independent writer and Artist support group.
.
But it may have the potential to grow to be far more than that!
.
If you are interested then Email me at:
.
RATLOMBOT@GMail.Com!
.
And together, we will take it from there!
.
!
Lom
THEN with no added spaces add
bot.
THEN with no added spaces add
co.
THEN with no added spaces add
uk/
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