!
.
.
A Dad Scenario 1
Getting Ready to go camping!
.
Very Young Daughter:
“Dad?”
.
Dad:
“Yes, love?”
.
Very Young Daughter:
“Do you want to see my drawing of a dragon?”
.
Dad:
“Yes, love!”
<Looks at her picture.>
“What sort of dragon is it?”
.
Very Young Daughter:
“She's the Dragon Queen!”
.
Dad:
“Yes, love!”
<Looking at her picture.>
“But what sort of dragons is she Queen of?”
.
Very Young Daughter:
“All of them!”
“She is the Dragon Queen!”
“She is the Queen of ALL dragons!”
.
Dad:
“Cool!”
<Keeps looking at her dragon picture.>
“What powers does she have?”
.
Very Young Daughter:
“All of them!”
“She 'IS' The Dragon Queen!”
“She has the powers of every Dragon!”
“She has the same powers of ALL dragons EVERYWHERE!”
.
Dad:
“Cool!”
<Starring at her dragon picture.>
“All dragons?
.
Very Young Daughter:
“All Dragons!”
“Even, the ‘Made Up’ ones!
.
DAD SCENARIO 3
A Lovely Catholic Christmas Family Song!
.
Scene :
Christmas time.
A grandmother’s family home.
Italian Roman Catholic heritage on one side
Irish Catholic Heritage on the other
It is a grandparent’s home there are plenty of crosses and Mary statues around as well as one or two pictures on the current pope
.
The children are all showing off all the lovely carols they have learned at Sacred Heart Catholic Faith School.
.
Very young son:
“Dad Can I have a go now please”
.
Wife :
“Sure love, it is your turn now.”
.
< My bright-eyed little boy stands tall and proud and burst into glowing Christian song! >
.
Very young son:
”Seems like all I can see was the squiggle”
“Hunted by ghosts that lived in my past”
“Bound up in shackles of all my failures”
“Wondering how long is this gonna last”
.
< All the grandparents are beaming with pride,>
<Some of the words are wrong but no one cares, He is only a young child trying his best,>
.
Very young son :
“Then You look at this pissner and say to me ‘son Stop fighting a fight that's already been won.”
.
<We ignore the minor error, it’s kind of cute>
<My son's confidence grows and he raises the volume In the sort of tuneless way only a little boy that young can!>
.
Very young son:
“I AM DEMON, YOU SET ME FREE”
.
< I and two other dads do a literal full-on sprayed spit take!>
< I never thought those happened in real life!>
.
Very young son:
“So I'll shake off theses heavy chains”
“And wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be”
.
<My son's confidence grows again! He raises the volume In the sort of tuneless way only a little boy that young can to the last crescendo!>
.
<The grandparent can only look on in horror>
<I am in literal dire pain with trying not to bust,>
<while thinking ‘Best Christmas ever!’>
.
Very young son
“I AM DEMON!”
.
“I AM DEMON!”
.
<His little face lighting up, mistaking my tears of dire laughter as glowing praise>
.
<I am have just about recovered myself,>
.
<it could not possibly get any better than that>
.
Very young <and now very enthusiastic and excited> son:
“Can I do it again!”
.
Wife :
“Maybe later dear”
While at the same time jerking her elbow back into my ribs harder than she ever has before!>
.
Very young son :
“BUT, Everyone else got to do two?!”
.
< She too late though,>
< I am howling my head off and struggling to breathe while the rest of the family look on in disapproving horror at me! >
.
DAD:
“What are you all doing?”
.
10-Year-Old Daughter:
“Me and Mummy are looking up ‘Warrior Cat’ Books on Amazon for my birthday.”
.
DAD:
“Cool,”
“It will be nice to have some emergency toilet paper if we need it.”
.
10-Year-Old Daughter:
“DADDY!”
<Her eyes narrow…>
“I WILL slit your throat!”
.
MUM
“EXCUSE ME!"
.
A collection of Dad Scenarios
This will page will get updated with new ones every so often!
..
A Dad Scenario 1
Getting Ready to go camping!
.
Dad:
.
Both Kids:
“Yes, Dad!”
.
Dad:
“Right for this trip,”
“As usual”
“I am going to nickname you both.”
.
<To both kids>
“Have you both packed?” .
Both Kids:
“Yes, Dad!”
.
Dad:
“Right for this trip,”
“As usual”
“I am going to nickname you both.”
.
<Pointing at the younger daughter and older son each in turn>
.
“You are going to be 'Emergency Rations 1”
“While you will be 'Emergency Ration’s 2”
.
Wife:
“I have told you!”
“You are not allowed to call the kids that!”
“It is inappropriate”
.
Dad:
“Sorry I forgot”
“Change of plan”
“No nicknames this trip!”
.
Younger Daughter:
“Dad?”
.
Dad:
“Yes, love?”
“Be quick!
“We have to get going!
.
Younger Daughter:
“Why is that inappropriate?”
.
Dad:
“I’m not entirely sure love”
“You will have to ask,”
“Emergency Rations 3'!”
.
Older Son:
Wife:
“While you will be 'Emergency Ration’s 2”
.
Wife:
“I have told you!”
“You are not allowed to call the kids that!”
“It is inappropriate”
.
Dad:
“Sorry I forgot”
“Change of plan”
“No nicknames this trip!”
.
Younger Daughter:
“Dad?”
.
Dad:
“Yes, love?”
“Be quick!
“We have to get going!
.
Younger Daughter:
“Why is that inappropriate?”
.
Dad:
“I’m not entirely sure love”
“You will have to ask,”
“Emergency Rations 3'!”
.
Older Son:
<Burst out laughing>
. Wife:
<Gives the Dad an evil look of doom!>
.
.
A Dad Scenario 2
Seeing a Daughters Dragon Drawing!
. Very Young Daughter:
“Dad?”
.
Dad:
“Yes, love?”
.
Very Young Daughter:
“Do you want to see my drawing of a dragon?”
.
Dad:
“Yes, love!”
<Looks at her picture.>
“What sort of dragon is it?”
.
Very Young Daughter:
“She's the Dragon Queen!”
.
Dad:
“Yes, love!”
<Looking at her picture.>
“But what sort of dragons is she Queen of?”
.
Very Young Daughter:
“All of them!”
“She is the Dragon Queen!”
“She is the Queen of ALL dragons!”
.
Dad:
“Cool!”
<Keeps looking at her dragon picture.>
“What powers does she have?”
.
Very Young Daughter:
“All of them!”
“She 'IS' The Dragon Queen!”
“She has the powers of every Dragon!”
“She has the same powers of ALL dragons EVERYWHERE!”
.
Dad:
“Cool!”
<Starring at her dragon picture.>
“All dragons?
.
Very Young Daughter:
“All Dragons!”
“Even, the ‘Made Up’ ones!
.
.
DAD SCENARIO 3
A Lovely Catholic Christmas Family Song!
.
Scene :
Christmas time.
A grandmother’s family home.
Italian Roman Catholic heritage on one side
Irish Catholic Heritage on the other
It is a grandparent’s home there are plenty of crosses and Mary statues around as well as one or two pictures on the current pope
.
The children are all showing off all the lovely carols they have learned at Sacred Heart Catholic Faith School.
.
Very young son:
“Dad Can I have a go now please”
.
Wife :
“Sure love, it is your turn now.”
.
< My bright-eyed little boy stands tall and proud and burst into glowing Christian song! >
.
Very young son:
”Seems like all I can see was the squiggle”
“Hunted by ghosts that lived in my past”
“Bound up in shackles of all my failures”
“Wondering how long is this gonna last”
.
< All the grandparents are beaming with pride,>
<Some of the words are wrong but no one cares, He is only a young child trying his best,>
.
Very young son :
“Then You look at this pissner and say to me ‘son Stop fighting a fight that's already been won.”
.
<We ignore the minor error, it’s kind of cute>
<My son's confidence grows and he raises the volume In the sort of tuneless way only a little boy that young can!>
.
Very young son:
“I AM DEMON, YOU SET ME FREE”
.
< I and two other dads do a literal full-on sprayed spit take!>
< I never thought those happened in real life!>
.
Very young son:
“So I'll shake off theses heavy chains”
“And wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be”
.
<My son's confidence grows again! He raises the volume In the sort of tuneless way only a little boy that young can to the last crescendo!>
.
<The grandparent can only look on in horror>
<I am in literal dire pain with trying not to bust,>
<while thinking ‘Best Christmas ever!’>
.
Very young son
“I AM DEMON!”
.
“I AM DEMON!”
.
<His little face lighting up, mistaking my tears of dire laughter as glowing praise>
.
<I am have just about recovered myself,>
.
<it could not possibly get any better than that>
.
Very young <and now very enthusiastic and excited> son:
“Can I do it again!”
.
Wife :
“Maybe later dear”
While at the same time jerking her elbow back into my ribs harder than she ever has before!>
.
Very young son :
“BUT, Everyone else got to do two?!”
.
< She too late though,>
< I am howling my head off and struggling to breathe while the rest of the family look on in disapproving horror at me! >
.
!
.
A Dad Scenario 4
.
Family Priorities!
.DAD:
“What are you all doing?”
.
10-Year-Old Daughter:
“Me and Mummy are looking up ‘Warrior Cat’ Books on Amazon for my birthday.”
.
DAD:
“Cool,”
“It will be nice to have some emergency toilet paper if we need it.”
.
10-Year-Old Daughter:
“DADDY!”
<Her eyes narrow…>
“I WILL slit your throat!”
.
MUM
“EXCUSE ME!"
"You two!"
.
DAD AND 10-Year-Old Daughter:
“What?”
.
MUM
“We DO NOT joke about things like that IN ‘THIS’ family…!”
.
<…Slight pause…>
.
<…MUM looks at DAD…>
.
MUM:
“We NEVER EVER joke about harming…”
“…. Books!”
.
DAD AND 10-Year-Old Daughter:
“What?”
.
MUM
“We DO NOT joke about things like that IN ‘THIS’ family…!”
.
<…Slight pause…>
.
<…MUM looks at DAD…>
.
MUM:
“We NEVER EVER joke about harming…”
“…. Books!”
.
.
.
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