! . GEEK ATTACK!  . Kinetic into thermal energy to cook food.  . (An immature response question to the brilliant minded Parker Ormonde) . Dear Parker Ormonde. . If it takes 23 K of slaps to cook a chicken how many spanks would it take to cook other food?  . Assuming not just only size but also flesh density is taken into consideration.  . . What about cooking other animals such as beef, pork or any of the Hominoidea? . What if I wanted to eat a Capuchin? . How many times would my wife have to spank a Capuchin to cook it for me? . How many spanks of the monkey do I need? . !