Skip to main content

DONATE TO THIS RANTING DOUCHE?

Do I like Books?

!
.

Do I like Books? 
.
.
Scenario 1: 

.
GIFTS
.
Someone gives me a Book as a gift!
.
“Thank you very much for the book!”
.
“I am very grateful!”

.
“This means a lot to me!”
.
.
“No!”
.
“You cannot borrow it!”
.
“And you certainly are not allowed to put fucking marks all over it!”

.
“It is now mine!”
.
“It is my precious!...”

.
.
Scenario 2:
.
TIME TRAVEL
.
I somehow manage to personally meet William Shakespeare!
.
.
“I’ll break my staff and bury it far underground, and throw my book of magic spells deeper into the sea than any anchor ever sank”
.
.
“Fuck off William!”
.
“You selfish dick head!”
.
“I don’t give two craps about your length of wood!”
.
“But, If you do not want those cool books then do not waste them!”
.
"Give them to me, and let me have them!"
.
.
“NO!”
.
.
“I do Not want you to sign it first!”
.
“Piss off! You evil book murderer!”

.
.
Scenario 3:
.
HISTORY 101.
I find out at age 10 about the burning of Great Library of Alexandria!
.
.
I am now 46!
.
Yes!
.
I am the sort of person that still get extremely pissed off,
.

Every time I think of,
Burning of the Great Library of Alexandria!
.
.
Scenario 4:
.
SWEET TEMPTATION!.
.

Temptation by the forces of Evil!
.
Wanting to read everything ever,
.
Is the only decent reason to want physical immortality.
.
.
Evil Vampire! :
.
“Once you taste of my blood,”
.
“You will never get to see another sunrise!”
.
“You will have to sustain yourself from the blood of the living!”
.
“You will be forever tormented and cursed!”

.
.
Me :
.
“Yeh!”
.
“But on the plus side, I do get the ability to read in the dark?”
.
“Correct?”

.
.
Scenario 5:
.
THE MIND!
.
Insanity!
.
I am not sure if there is such a thing as “Book Sickness” Or “Book Madness” the same way Tolkien described “Gold Sickness” Or “Gold Madness”,
.
But if there is,
.
I definitely have it!
.
Although I would instead use the terms,
.
"Totally reasonable about books!"
.
Or
.
"Book Sanity!"
.
Instead!
.
.
Scenario 6 :
.
Judging Others!
.
“Hermione Granger and Belle are only mere ‘want to be’ lightweights!”
.
.
“They are not ‘Real Readers!’ like me!”
.
.
Scenario 7 :
.
Common Mistakes!

.
Apparently....
.
.
The proper term for light breezy modern female-led fiction is,
.
.

"Chick Lit,"
.
.
It is NOT called,
.
What I happened to think it was called,
.
"Clit Lit,"
.
.
Oops!
.
Sorry!
.
.
Scenario 8 :
.
NERDY BOOK FLIRT!

.
Hey!
.
Is THAT a large 'Card Index Box' in my pocket?
Or
Am I just glad to see you 'still appreciate the Dewey Decimal Classification System'?
.
.
Conclusion.
.
.
I may very well have a very slight subtle fondness for books.
.
.
But nothing that I cannot handle,
.
.
I can stop any time I want!
.
.
I know this because I checked and self-assessed myself from a Book and it informed Me that I was perfectly normal and “ok”.
.
.
!
.
Dieting HAM-let
.
Mmmmm go get a Pizza or not get a Pizza,
that is the question.
.
Whether it is nobler in the Gut to suffer the Tomato and Cheese of outrageous fortune
.
Or
.
To take on a sea of Salad and by that end them...
.
!
.
!
.
A Dad Scenario 4 
.
Family Priorities!
.
DAD: 
“What are you all doing?” 
.
10-Year-Old Daughter: 
“Me and Mummy are looking up ‘Warrior Cat’ Books on Amazon for my birthday.” 
.
DAD: 
“Cool,” 
“It will be nice to have some emergency toilet paper if we need it.” 

.
10-Year-Old Daughter: 
“DADDY!” 
<Her eyes narrow…> 
“I WILL slit your throat!” 

.
MUM 
“EXCUSE ME!" 
"You two!" 
.
DAD AND 10-Year-Old Daughter: 
“What?” 
.
MUM 
“We DO NOT joke about things like that IN ‘THIS’ family…!” 
.
<…Slight pause…> 
.
<…MUM looks at DAD…> 
.
MUM: 
“We NEVER EVER joke about harming…” 
“…. Books!”
.
.

.


.


Comments

Why THIS blog?

Why THIS blog?
Why THIS blog?

£50 Grade 1 add type

£50 Grade 1 add type
£50 Grade 1 add type

ARE THESE RANTS TOO HARSH?

YOUR CHOSEN CONTENT IS BELOW,
JUST SCROLL DOWN A LITTLE BIT MORE!

THIS PAGE MAY CONTAIN SWEARING, DRUG AND SEX REFERENCES!

ARE THESE RANTS TOO HARSH?

SQUEAK!

Then please go instead to the Much Milder more “public friendly"

www.mouselombot.co.uk

STANDING NOTICES!

£25 Grade 2 add type

£25 Grade 2 add type
£25 Grade 2 add type

THE BIG LIST OF RAT GEEK PAGE RANTS!

£25 Grade 2 add type

£25 Grade 2 add type
£25 Grade 2 add type

THE BIG LIST OF RAT SCIENCE PAGE RANTS!

£25 Grade 2 add type

£25 Grade 2 add type
£25 Grade 2 add type

GO GREEN! SAVE THE HUMAN RACE FROM EXTINCTION!

£25 Grade 2 add type

£25 Grade 2 add type
£25 Grade 2 add type

THE BIG LIST OF RAT ART PAGE RANTS!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT HEALTH PAGE RANTS!

DAD RANT! WILL YOU BLOODY KIDS PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP!

Grade 2 Add here for £25 a month

Grade 2 Add here for £25 a month
Grade 2 Add here for £25 a month

RATs Furry Feinds, Friends, Beloved Pets and Cuddle Stars!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT MONEY PAGE RANTS!

Grade 2 ADD £25 a month

Grade 2 ADD £25 a month
Grade 2 ADD £25 a month

THE BIG LIST OF RAT SEX AND GENDER PAGE RANTS!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT ANTI RACE BIGOTRY AND ANTI FAITH BIGOTRY PAGE RANTS!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT ANTI-HOMOPHOBIC PAGE RANTS!

THE BIG LIST OF RAT CRIME PAGE RANTS!

25£ Slot

25£ Slot
25£ Add Space

THE BIG LIST OF RAT POLITICAL PAGE RANTS!

Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month

Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month
Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month

Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month

Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month
Grade 3 Add here £10 a Month

My Faith.

I HATE THESE VIEWS! THE ANTI CENSORSHIP POLICY OF MY BLOG!!

Grade 3 Add here for £10 a month

Grade 3 Add here for £10 a month
Grade 3 Add here for £10 a month

THE BIG LIST OF RAT JUST PLAIN WEIRD PAGE RANTS!

Add Here for £10 a Month

Add Here for £10 a Month
Grade 3 Add Here for £10 a Month

£10 grade 3 add type

£10 grade 3 add type
£10 grade 3 add type

£10 grade 3 add type

£10 grade 3 add type
£10 grade 3 add type

SEARCH! For other rants!

Rants You Hate Less Than The Others!

What if a US presidential candidate refuses to concede after an election...

Sometimes I worry.

! . Sometimes I worry. . I am nearly 50 years old IF I live another 20 years That is 7300 days! . If for some reason I Only attack some empowered group every other day. . That is still 3650 days! . There can not possibly be that many empowered groups in the world! . Sometimes I worry! . I worry I am going to run out of "groups with power" to piss off! . !

I DO understand AMERICAS problem

! . I DO understand AMERICAS problem, . BUT! Refusing to vote is NOT any solution! . But short of civil war and an armed uprising  (Which is VERY BAD!) The only immediate rather weak band-aid solution is to keep getting each party of this limited two-party system to only serve one term each, forever alternately. ( Never two terms in a row ) . To keep them busy doing the pretence of fighting each other, And keep them a bit off-balance as they have to swap desks and paperwork every 4 years. . THIS is all you have! . Until someone far smarter than me and you combined x10 finds a none destructive solve to this problem that would NOT cost thousands of innocent lives! . ! . When people all cry out for an armed uprising or a civil war in America to break the corrupt 2 party system To take back democracy from evil international corporations! . Those same international corporations, DROOL AND RUB THEIR BLOODY HANDS WITH GREEDY GLEE! . . THINK ABOUT IT! . Who do you think will make the most mo

GEEK ATTACK! The support ticket I filled out for Blizzard Games.

! . The support ticket I filled out for Blizzard Games. . I have had a particularly tough year, . One small highlight was watching BlizzCon live with the virtual ticket. . So I managed, with a bit of sacrifice, to not only find the money for the (now more expensive ticket) but also £20 worth of Pizza to make the whole night a bit of a personal occasion. . But halfway through the Overwatch part of the opening ceremony, the feed kept closing, changing to the wrong language, and this kept happening to the point that it became unstable! . Yes,, while I can watch it all again later when OR if it is fixed, but it is is not the same. It has not got the same energy as seeing that opening ceremony live and hearing the cool stuff, first hand. . Maybe I put too much   store  i n this one treat to make life seem a little better at the moment, and of course part of me knows that I am overreacting, but I am just too psychologically tired now to even feel angry. . I am sorry, . But I am done. . Thi

GEEK ATTACK! (PC) Investigating Police please note:

! . Investigating Police please note : . ‘When’ and not ‘if’ I am found dead in my chair It was NOT the “Extreme Right” that got me OR The “Extreme Left” OR EVEN My wife after one too many crap jokes. . . Ti’s was the PC game “Stellaris” that killed me! . . . Because it is so good, that I have played it so much in my one first go, that I threw up with chest pains due to lack of sleep! . (Apparently, fat unhealthy 46-year-olds still need to sleep!)  (Who would have guessed?)  . And even ‘THEN’ and even ‘NOW’, at ‘THAT’ extreme point, it both took and is taking a real concerted effort of willpower to walk away! . ! . . . . . THIS IS NOT a "Shmoo!" post! .

X-factor 2018, Here, Bellow, are the things I care about in series 15.

#CummingsTheCovidSpreader

! . RULE 1 : . Always try and follow ALL the rules! . . RULE 2 : . "IF" you DO break a rule,  . Then DAM WELL Break E'm Good N' Hard! . (You are going to get just as punished for doing a half measure as you are going full bore nuke!) . #CummingsTheCovidSpreader . ! . .

HEADS UP MATH NERDS! There is a new sexy form of statistical analysis in town!

! . HEADS UP MATH NERDS! . . There is a new form of widely used statistical analysis that typically presents its data on a 0-100% scale. . Know as the POOAS method. . It is now the most widely used form of data presentation in the world! . Now used globally by all governments a staggering 84.3 % of the time! . Yet you may not yet have ever heard of it. . . . . THE POOAS Method! . . . . PROUDLY ONLY PRINTED ON NON-GMO PAPER! . PROUDLY  ONLY USES NON-GMO INK! . . From S. A Chasim. PHucD. OCD. With a Forward By Dr Jonathan Swift. DM . ONLY £6.66p GBP! CLICK HERE  TO GET YOURS! . https://www.lombot.co.uk/p/fake-warning-do-not-publih.html . . . . . THE  POOAS   Method! . . . ( Pulled Out Of Arse Statistics!)  . . Used by a Politician or Lobbyist near you!. . ! . HELP! . I have a crap load of books everywhere! . I do not put them in any order! . I am super untidy, . I have not been able to find my book about "Applied Chaos Th

GEEK ATTACK! WAS Thanos VERY STUPID! OR VERY WISE??!! The Solution He COULD have used! AND the one reason he might not have chosen to use it! V3

GEEK ATTACK! WAS Thanos VERY STUPID! OR VERY WISE??!! The Solution He COULD have used! AND the one reason he might not have chosen to use it!  The newest content is below the intro piece, Scroll past previous content a short way to get to it!  (NOTE:  NOT MY MEME!  PURLEY POSTED  TO SHOW WHAT I AM REPLYING TOO!)  I reckon Thanos WILL have made a load to new for the resources for the universe! BUT Let us assume the MCU abides by the rule that "energy cannot be created," But if energy cannot be created he would have to take the raw energy needed to create those resources from somewhere. Find something he deems expendable to reduce disassemble and to mere energy to redistribute to resource creation! I wonder where he could have gotten the extra energy to make those resources. Does anyone happen to have any bright ideas? PPS WAS Thanos VERY STUPID! OR VERY WISE??!! The Solution He COULD have us

I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TOMMY ROBINSON! If Anyone happens to see that Tommy person! Please remind him that my open challenge to him is still waiting to be accepted! Pass it on!

. I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TOMMY ROBINSON! . If Anyone happens to see that Tommy person! Please remind him that my open challenge to him is still waiting to be accepted! Pass it on! . . . It took over 5 hours to collate this data and work out these figures! . . . ! . But you can not compare white people with Muslims! . They are two different categories! . But this fact is what makes the extrapolated math possible. . I felt safe in making and combining the 2 following assumptions. , 1) . That a maximum of 2% of the Muslim population in the UK was White. . And . 2) . That a maximum of 2% of White people in the UK was Muslim . These are the only assumption in the math that was done, all the rest was achieved using solid figures! . If the target chosen by the racist had been a faith that had been largely white then the mathematical extrapolation could not have been safely done and their lies revealed. . I love the irony that this is one time a type of “Ra

Archive List!

Show more

Grade 3 £10 Add

Grade 3 £10 Add
Grade 3 ADD £10 Per Month

Blog Logo

Blog Logo
Contact RatLombot@GMail.Com

DONATE TO THIS RANTING DOUCHE?

The Main Part About Ranting Is Repeating Yourself!