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By Ross Lombardi


Copyright 2011 Ross Lombardi



The world was called Bolox. It was a desert planet whose only export was the minerals taken from its vast hot sands.

Deep in a cavern beneath the royal palace, a young girl was held against her will.

She was called Terisa and she had just turned eighteen. She was naked and flanked by four fully armed royal guards. If the guards ever felt anything, had any reservations about the things they were sometimes ordered to do, they wisely kept it to themselves.

A large muscular bald man decked in little more than jewels. He was plainly sexually aroused. The rest of the cavern was dark.

“Welcome my dear,” said the bald man, “I am Baron of the planet Bolox,”

The girl was too frightened to comment.

On cue, three lights lit up three similar men, naked and very heavily beaten about the face, each crucified in an “X” formation.

“I am a Baron, ruler of an entire planet, you, on the other hand, are a non-citizen of the Empire. Despite this, I will make you an offer. If you can recognize your father among my three toys here I will grant you and your entire family citizenship and a comfortable living. Get it wrong and I will rape and gut you over several hours before putting your entire scummy clan to a painful death.”

Terisa started to cry.

“Make your choice quickly, before I get bored!”

Terisa fought back the tears and thought quickly.

She made her choice!

She got it wrong!

After the Baron had finished he went back to the main throne room, The Golden Hall.

The court of the Golden Hall of Bolox was indeed both golden and tasteless. It had statues and reliefs of eagles, lions and dragons as well as various nude erotic poses all covered in gold of all shades. Reds, yellows, whites and greens inlaid with jewels. Decoration born of too much money and no sense of moderation or style. At the top end of the hall was the Baron’s Stone, which acted as the throne. A rock sat upon by generations of the planet's rulers since the birth of the Empire ten thousand years ago.

Bolox could have been a rich planet for its inhabitants if it weren’t for the mismanagement of its Barons. Taxes were high, while services and investment were non-existent. All the bored Baron was interested in was money and ever increasingly interesting ways of spending it. He was a large muscular man and completely hairless. The muscles were grafted on surgically and regularly replaced as they wasted away from lack of use. They were vanity muscles grown in a vat so the Barron would be saved the tedium of exercise. He was a man who giggled to himself at his own inner musings. Some of these musings were very dark indeed.

His court had slaves in the pleasure chambers held there to the tortured and raped at the whim of the aristocracy. There were pits where animals and sentient races were placed to fight for their lives. Almost nothing was sacred to the Barron, not gender, innocence or age. Only corrupt pleasure and the name of the Emperor stirred him.

Although he was evil it was an almost innocent evil, one created through never having been taught any better or having been told “no” as a child. He never had the slightest chance of growing up a decent man.

And it was this man who was to hold a grand ball. Twenty-one days of drinking, eating, dancing, fighting and fornicating. Every one of noble birth, imperial church standing and decent military rank from the entire quadrant (24 inhabited planets) was to come. Including the other Barons from the other planets.

It was to celebrate the Barron’s thirtieth birthday. And such an occasion had to show such power, excess and money as he could.

But a mere party was not enough for his twisted childish soul. He had Plans

Just such very special plans needed equally special skills and for this, he hired Lady Silk of the assassin’s guild.

She was a beautiful and one of seven in the dark assassin council. She had pale skin, red hair and vivid green eyes when she wasn’t in disguise. She was also very, very expensive. Expensive to the extent that the Barron had to save up for a year to afford her.

The Barron waited alone on his uncomfortable rock for an hour waiting for her to grace him with her presence. The Barron of Bolox wasn’t used to waiting for anything in his life before but he wasn’t a stupid man. Lady Silk was not someone you become offended with or if you did you kept it to yourself.

“My Lord” he heard to feminine whisper behind him.

Barron Bollix felt his blood run cold. He had not told the royal security to let her in. He had simply waited alone as she had told him to. He did not dare turn around

“My Lord” she repeated with greater clarity.

Although the voice was beautiful he felt sick to the pit of his stomach with dread, he had caused her to repeat herself.

“My Lady Silk” he heard himself say.

“You requested my presence, my Lord,”

“Err, Yes”

“What do you require of me.” She spoke softly.

“I fancy a diversion to make my party a time for everyone to remember, for the rest of their lives. I want the occasion to be recorded in history,”

“What have you in mind?”

“I want my birthday to be recorded in history as the time and place that the planets Dat and Murr declare war on each other”

The planet Dat was a centre of computer manufacture and advanced ships while Murr was a mining planet with a vast be it primitive navy. Dat was a culture of austerity and discipline akin to the Puritans while Murr was a robust drinking and fighting culture akin to that of the Vikings. Both houses where fiercely proud and confident in their ability defeat any other planet in a military conflict.

“Is that all?” purred Lady Silk.

“Bolox is in a strategic position between the two planets, each would pay a lot of money to use my borders in event of a war with the other. I could choose the highest bidder.”

“Very well if that is what you wish it shall happen, I will arrive at the ball in disguise and complete my mission, do you wish me to report directly to you in your private apartments?”

“Yes, that will be fine.”

“You should give me an access card to your security system or if you prefer I could destroy your security to see you.”

“No! No, here’s a card.”

He reached into his robes and pulled out a gold, jewel-encrusted security card and tossed it behind him.

The Planet Dat had no atmosphere. The entire main city was underground. It imported almost everything, especially silicon that it turned into computer chips in vast factories and exported. Due to the inhabitants having to live so close together the society grew to be one of moderation and control. Any music, books, or films designed to inflame the emotions were heavily regulated as any drug might be. Seething emotions were avoided and seen as a bad thing in a world with no privacy.

On the planet Dat two men faced each other on a narrow length of obsidian, swords drawn. One dressed in white, one in grey both wearing fencing masks and brandishing sabres. The platform they were on was surrounded by water. They danced back and forth their swords clashing. The grey swordsman was driven back to the edge of the water and nearly toppled in as the white swordsman attacked again and again. Then the grey swordsman recovered and thrust under the arm of his opponent. A siren went off and the white swordsman backed off saluted his sword and bowed before taking his mask off.

Underneath the man was elderly and grey-haired. The grey swordsman took off his mask to reveal Lord Dat Barron of the planet Dat. He was a younger man with pale skin and short cropped black hair.

A metal ramp stretched itself towards the obsidian block for the fighters to disembark the platform.

“You are progressing well my lord,” the elderly tutor said.

“I was distracted I’m afraid,” replied Barron Dat.

“May I ask why my lord”

“Its this horrendous party at the planet Bolox I have to go to. The palace is an evil place full of suffering and gluttony. There will be taking of intoxicating substances and public dancing and that is in the main gallery. I don’t even want to contemplate the dire evils of the so-called pleasure rooms. I don’t know how I shall shield my lady’s delicate senses at such an occasion.”

“Still you should never let yourself be distracted. If you had been insulted or injured your life would depend on you keeping your centre of concentration,”

“You are right, old friend. I apologize for wasting our session today,” the Barron Dat said.

“Not at all my lord, I am at your service,”

They both bowed, the tutor slightly lower than the Barron Dat. The Barron took his leave.

Murr was a Jungle planet filled with life including giant carnivorous monsters.

The culture here was based on embracing the primitive self. The inner noble beast. Men proudly wore their hand hunted skins, furs and scars. To experience danger and near death situations was to embrace a healthy taste for life and living.

On the planet Murr there was loud cheering from the spectators as the two men wrestled in the centre of the drinking hall. The hall was panelled in wood and various heads of animals and weapons hung from the wall. Men sat in a circle shouting encouragement as one wrestler, a very large red beard, slammed into the smaller black beard. The black beard went straight over on his back and raised his feet onto the belly of his opponent as the red beard crashed on top of him. The black beard used his legs to push violently against the large man catapulting him across the room and into the table. He spilt drink onto of himself in the process. The black beard sprang to his feet and charged across the room and wrapped both tree trunk arms around the red beard from behind, lifting him off the ground. The room fell silent for an instant and the sound of ribs cracking could be heard and the red beard turned blue before going limp in the black beards arms. The black beard let his opponent fall unconscious to the floor and raised his fist in triumph. The crowd let out an almighty raw of cheers. The black beard, Barron Murr was once again the victor.

Later in his quarters the Barron of Murr collapsed on the bed and groaned. His wife a pretty dark haired woman gave a “tut tut” under her breath before speaking.

“You are going to have to give this up you know,”

“I know,” he groaned,

“You’re getting too old to act as if you’re twenty,”

“I know,” he groaned,

“You’ll do yourself a mischief. Why don’t you appoint yourself a champion like your father used to?"

“I know,” he groaned,

“You’ve got to keep your strength up for his fucking disgusting party of Barron Bolox,” She spat.

“I know,” he groaned,

“Twenty-one days of drinking and fighting, your too old for this nonsense,”

“I know,” he groaned,

“You are not listening to a word I’m saying are you!” Lady Murr said putting her hands on her curvaceous hips.

“I know,” he groaned once again automatically.

It was the opening day of the festivities. A one hundred piece string band was playing and the royal guards were on full alert and standing at attention. There were the traditional halberd guards in their bright multi-coloured uniforms and hidden weapons. There were the plain-clothed guards and finally there were the guards in supper heavy combat armour

And obvious BFG’s, (short for Big Fuck off Guns).

The royal announcer stated the rank and name of each guest as they arrived. The most important arrived last the least important first. The time it took to see the entire guest through the palace doors took seventeen hours. The Barron of Bolox was only present to see the more important guest in the last eight hours of the procession.

One of the first guests featured in our tail was the Lady Karen Teste. A pretty if not plain woman without land or much money but bloodline enough to ensure an invite. She was dressed in black loose clothes in many layers. She had a dark complexion and brown mousy hair. She curtsied low in front of the Barron and he in turn idly ignored her as the non-entity that she was. She then slipped silently into the crowd

About seven hours later the party from Dat arrived.

They have all dressed in white apart from Lord and Lady Dat who was dressed in grey.

The clothes were plain and functional. The procession was quiet and the party down to essential servants and security only.

Lady Dat was a petite young woman of about eighteen and only recently married with blue eyes and an angelic face.

They approached the stone and bowed before the Barron Bolox who was already drunk and not really paying attention by this time. They were then shown to their apartments.

Next was the party from Murr in a mass of horns and trumpets. There was a veritable horde of them all the men dressed in metal helmets and fur and animal hides while the women wore more conventional evening gowns. As was their tradition they all gave a mighty aggressive shout in front of Barron Bollix that startled him a bit out of his stupor. They then went straight to the bar and left the luggage to be taken to their quarters.

About half an hour later Lady Alaska arrived. A tall slender beauty with purple hair and shinning glowing purple eyes and perfectly white skin. Her dress was yellow and had a neckline that plunged to the navel at the front and to the small of her spine at the back with splits that ran from the feet to above the hips. The sleeves were long and slender until they reached the cuff, where they splayed out alarmingly to the point that they almost trailed along the floor. Lady Alaska gave a curtsy that was ignored by the Barron and quietly slipped into the crowd.

Last to arrive was Lord Patch. And the music went silent.

The tall figure was dressed in a magical cloak of absolute darkness with four glowing white enchanted swords strapped to his back. He had four arms, each hand holding ten fingers and each finger having four knuckles. He was bald, overly wrinkled and skin as rough as sandpaper. He only had one eye, while a patch covered the other. His good eye was black with hardly any white showing. His teeth were sharp razor points and lined all around his sphincter mouth in three rows. He had no nose as such only two black pits in the centre of his face.

He was high undisputed lord of the dark assassin council, Lady Silk was his consort and him, her master. He was not invited, he was never invited but no one dared turn him away. He was the Emperor's own personal assassin and his arrival meant only one thing.

Someone would die by his hand before the party was over.

Unlike the other guest, the Barron Bolix got off his rock and knelt before him, instead of the other way around.

Lord Patch held his lower right hand out and took on a disinterested air.

“Lord Patch, this is indeed a pleasure” oozed the Barron.

Lord Patch said nothing and waved the Barron back to his seat.

These were the main characters or our story but you must remember that there were over a thousand guests at this ball and each person averaged about two servants each.

This apart from the palace staff themselves who consisted of guards, general servants, cleaners, cooks, slaves, and the administration staff.

Starack was a big scared man who constantly wore craft Dwarven power armour and carried a power halberd. He had worked his way up the ranks until at the surprisingly young age of thirty, he became head of Barren Bollox’s security.

He along with a hundred other human monitors were currently plugged into the security mainframe. From here he could get a virtual view of anywhere in the palace (apart from the Baron's bedroom, toilet and diplomatic rooms.) from the thousands of multi scanners hidden around the palace. Normally this was considered a job way under his rank but Starack pain little attention to his personal ego and thoroughly took on a hands-on approach, checking each element of security randomly and often.

At the moment, his heart was sinking into the deep pits of dread held in the mortal stomach. He saw Lord Patch (although he had no idea that Lady Silk was also present somewhere in the palace) and knew the personal Assassin of the Emperor had come uninvited to kill someone. If an assassination happened while he held the post of security head, he would be ritually put to death for his failure to protect the Barons Guest.

With that magic cloak of darkness Lord Patch had, it would be impossible to stop him.

Starack felt a new resolve,

“No, Not impossible!” he breathed to himself.

No one had succeeded yet in stopping an assassination when Lord Patch visited a planet but that did not mean it was impossible.

Starack would try to be the first. However, it would need some creative thinking.

Lady Karen Teste got to the door of her apartment, her one-shoulder bag slung over one arm, key card in her other hand. She had no servants to carry her luggage.

She opened the door and looked at her one-room apartment that was sparsely furnished. She had seen better cheap hotel rooms. Her name was long and ancient and her blood was one of most royal in the sector, but she had no money. She was all status, no wealth.

She let her bag fall to the floor, sat on the bed, and sighed.

The party lasted twenty-one days, three weeks of free food and board. Three weeks to find a husband that might not necessarily be rich but at least own his own living quarters. At the very least, she might get to steal some of the platinum-plated jewel incrusted cutlery to sell later. She was a moral person who hated stealing even from the very rich but she was a mortal woman with a mortal woman’s need for food, water and shelter and that costed money.




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