. My birthday present for my 54th birthday. By Ross e f Lombardi. . For my birthday I would like... ...as my present... ...a "reason" . A reason to go to the doctor, If I find a mysterious lump. . A reason to call an ambulance, If I get chest pains  . A reason to hand over my money and phone, If I get mugged. . A reason to keep out out jail. A reason to behave. . A reason to keep out the hospital. A reason to live. . A reason to keep out of the grave.  . For my birthday this year. I want a reason to fear. A reason to be scared of dying. A reason that makes life worthwhile. . For this birthday I want to value my life. To worry when I get a death threat. Instead of wishing to be killed. . For my birthday. I want the emotional pain to stop. To be sane and stable. And maybe, just maybe, even be "normal"! . If I am lying on the ground and bleeding, I want for my birthday to be able to say, "I can't die here" "I need to get home to 'them'...-...

. JUST GO! By Ross E F Lombardi . Life will tell you, Don't dance on an empty dance floor. Really? Just watch me! . Convention demands, You need to be in a group to go clubbing. Really? Just see me! . People will say, You cannot do or say that! Really? Then try and stop me! . Angry voices threaten. If we catch you doing shit, we'll batter you. I shrug, - Giggling. Then catch me! . Those kicking my ribs scream, Stay down you silly bugger! "Nah!" I whisper in sardonic glee  "I don't wanna" . I look in the mirror, And think no one will want this. Well, Prove me wrong and fuck me! . I, tell me, - That, I cannot be loved. So, Tenderly kiss me! . DO NOT - tell me who I am, - Ask me! . In a world that says, Know your place. I say, Fuck You! . Life, People and yourself will tell you lots of things  . Dare - double dare and - triple dare! . Dare to doubt IT! . Yourself, People, and Life will claim a lot of stuff, . Know This! . Almost all of it is Bullshit. .