. I wouldn't call myself a god.  The idea of spiritual and natural hierarchies is a man-made false thing. There is no higher or lower planes of existence - just other planes of existence. There are no higher or lower forms of life - just different types of life. The creation and obsession with non-existent ladders is a delusional perspective that, quite honestly, has royally fucked up the entire world. I slug is not lower than a human, we are equals. An angel from another plane of existence is not higher than a human, we are equals. When mystic teachings lean into believing hierarchy bullshit, they are just leaning into tools that are no longer fit for purpose. I am not a god. I am the universe and the universe is me. As above, so below? - No! We live on a sphere. Up and down do not really exist in the larger universe. That is just localised gravity - not truth. BUT As to one side, -  then so to the other end - Yes! .

I WAS going to start "project eclipse" in August. Where I give up on everything and everyone and just spend the rest of my life, ignoring social issues, playing vid games and watching TV, waiting to die of old age.... Not aspiring to do anything or be anything. Just another DWP mental health vegetable waiting to rot, unwashed in my grubby, tapped up, couch. . No more writing . No more art . BUT There IS that "hail Mary pass" official tees valley poet thang... A last Very unlikely throw of the dice... ...to be anything other than just another skutter podgy old bloke in a bedsit... So, I will fill out that application tomorrow afternoon. Send it in. And THEN WHEN I DO get rejected for THAT. THEN I can do "project eclipse" and give up on everything and everyone. . THEN, after it is certain, for sure, that I am a true proper failure, I can isolate myself from the entire world, stop trying to go out and stop trying to have a life. Quit Grow old alone Then eve...

. A Woman is not being 'too difficult', She is just being as difficult as any man. . It is, as if, men are allowed to be 80% difficult, stubborn or ruthless. But women are only allowed to be 60% difficult, stubborn or ruthless. Instead of both being allowed to be 100% human. . A man is not being 'too emotional'. He is just being as emotional as any woman. It is, as if, women are allowed to be 60% emotional, gentle and caring or broken hearted. But men are only allowed to be 40% emotional, gentle and caring or broken hearted. Instead of both being allowed to be 100% human. . Maybe the world would be slightly better for everyone. If everyone was allowed to just be 100% themselves. Instead of some bullshit inherited list of gender expectations. . Well I am a man. But more importantly I am foremost 100% human. I Do feel stuff. And I am allowed to feel stuff as deeply and as long as I need to. . I do not owe anyone "more manly", "tougher" "less emot...

. 'IF' I ever call a woman a Bitch . Then I mean it as a compliment As for me: Nothing is more ugly than weakness . In the same vain I am happy to be called a "Son of a bitch" Because my mum Jackie was no wussy pushover. . I spent nearly 30 years romanticly grafted on to a wet noodle. Stuck attached to a woman with all the moral courage of a constantly frightened pigeon. To a - "but - what will the neighbours think?"  - snobby personality. To a lass that folds like a wet tissue paper bag rather than ever dare question authority or anyone in an official uniform. To a mentally of a tiny girl in a schoolyard constantly looking for the teachers approval. A sickening 'god slave' conformist that cares more about only appearing to do what is right - instead of ever risking to actually Do what is right. Would never call my ex wife (Susan Chapman of Redcar) a "Bitch". A "weak shitty little civil servant bootlicker" , yes. A "a mean ...

 The most painful physical experience I have ever been through?? Being discarded like garbage by the life partner you loved for 30 years Then bring expected to somehow "just get over it" as if it were just random mere brief three months dating period in your 20s. Then Trying to piece together what's left of your shattered core self at over 50. While they happily move on with someone new while claiming that you are "overreacting". . I don't care what sexuality or gender you are. This is not a gender war thang! The fact I happen to be a straight man being dumped by a wife is immaterial. As a fellow human being, just like you. It is the most painful thing I have ever been through. And "yes" , It Does manafest as an actual physical pain ....

Pain Farmers - By Ross e f Lombardi. . Well... I'm over 50. There goes my marriage. That didn't work. Just stonewalling, left feeling useless. Left eating dirt. . The harvesters say Tired of being alone? Times are different today. Try our online dating! Let us show you how! . Well... Ok... That didn't work. Just spending money, left feeling lonely. - Left feeling hurt. . More harvesters claim. Tired of the usual dating sites? Ours is different... - ...Honest! Let's show you how! . Well... Crap... That didn't work. Just spending cash, Still left feeling lonely. - Still Left feeling burnt. . Harvesters are... Making Him scared to grow old. Times have changed today. But She says that she is different. And wants to show you how! . Well... Hot Dam! That didn't even work a bit! Spending credit, Being used. - Left eating shit. . Harvesters are benefiting.. From Her being frightened to walk home. World is scary today. But he says that he is different. And wants to sh...

Ok. I dare to ask ..  what sort of any person, of any gender, who actually likes sex .. wants any sort of sexual partner who is Less experienced and less skilled?? How does that make any sense? How is a high body count not a good thing? Why the hell would I want to date a woman with a crap low body count? If I could date an experienced erotically skilled woman instead? If would like choosing the worst mechanic, chief, or heart surgeon instead of the best one available. I want the best not the worst! I want the veteran head of department not some green intern.

Following news about AIs and Their devastating effects on young minds. I wrote this to my own kids. (Censored to remove Their names) . There has been a few teen suicides and loads of reports of teen self harm by victims being emotionally attached to chat bot AI "relationships".  I know both of you are smart but you are also both the sort of loner types that could have problems in that area.  So just be aware. Obviously I'm more worried about (younger daughter) due to age and social anxiety issues. But (older son) is still not exempt.. Just remind yourselves that chat bots are not real people and that they do not have any real feelings to hurt. They are designed to just get as much 'engagement' from user as possible, by any manipulative means nesscisary. They don't really "miss you" They can not "love you",  They are incapable of actually "careing" about, your views, lives or your opinions about anything.  They can not really ...

. Title: PAIN-SCAPE . Size A3 . Acylic on canvas . (Paint still wet at the time the photo was taken) . . .

! "nice" and "good" are VERY different things. ! I have known plenty of evil people who are "nice" and because if that they have loads of 'freinds' And a few truly "good" people who were grumpy charmless Arse-Holes. ! But they were grumpy charmless Arse-Holes because there were too busy rolling up Thier sleeves and getting their hands dirty helping others who needed help. ! So busy with being truly good people, - that they didn't have time to waste with fake nice charm bull crap! !