Current plan:  Sept 18th 2026 I am committed to seeing the "Heathers" Musical, at Darlington with my daughter in about a weeks time. But after that, I'm staying in. There is some art left at 2B, and when that doesn't sell, I suppose they will have to throw it away. Because I don't want to leave the flat to get it. I still unfortunately have to refill my gas card for heating once in a while. - So I still have to leave the flat for that. But if I do it when the gas card refill shop opens at 7 a.m.-ish, with as much as I can, I should be able to avoid most people. But apart from the gas card, I see no reason why I have to be an active part of the wider world at all from when I get back after that "Heathers" musical onwards. Unless I have forgotten some other commitments - But eventually, all commitments remembered or not will run out - And I am makeing no added plans for the future. So eventually Sooner or later, Preferably sooner I can give up on being an...

. If I am with a woman I don't know well enough. . I can have a painful hard-on that won't quit and have sex for hours. (No, it is not as fun as it sounds. It's unsatisfying and painful and frustrating) . I can only orgasm and go limp again if I feel emotionally connected to the woman. It doesn't have to be "love", but I do have to know and like her . Being attractive is just not enough. No matter how 'hot' she is. . I can't cum with one-night stands. (Which is why I don't do them) . This is why being faithful to whoever I am with is so appealing. And why I have zero interest in hook-up sites or "professionals". (Don't get me wrong - sex work IS real work! - but such "services" won't work for me.)  . Do any other men out there have this issue? .

  . "If," it turns out (as I suspect) that I am incompatible with the entire world, then I will simply withdraw from the entire world and become a recluse. "If" I cause pain to others by being 'me' then I should avoid those people "If" I cause pain to everyone by being 'me' then I should simply avoid everyone. It is an elegant solution that is easy to do. Anything else is simply not worth the inordinate huge effort for such tiny small rewards. I just don't need the company of other humans that badly. (Let's be honest here! Human beings, that is the entire human race, including myself, just totally sucks!) Avoiding all people everywhere is not that big a sacrifice - compared to the drudge dirge grinding grey dull constant effort of trying to interact with them... .

. GENERAL PUBLIC POLITE REMINDER! . A willingness to help IS NOT A willingness to obey! . If you offer advice, And it IS just advice – Then you won’t be insulted if I refuse to take that advice! If you Insist that your advice, be followed, then it is no longer just advice! It instead becomes an instruction, condition or given order! . Too Many people and organisations keep confusing my willingness to help and be helpful to them, With a willingness to be owned and controlled by them! . Just because I go out of my way to help a person, gallery, group or organisation. Does NOT mean I suddenly become a thrall or foot soldier for that person, gallery, group, or organisation. . I do not change. I will not change. I will always choose to break rather than bend. To die rather than back down. To walk away rather than stay a part of your so-called “Family”. . Helping you does NOT mean I need you to like me! I help - to help you – NOT to get something from you! I do not need your conditional mon...

. SHIT! - Only 100 Days until Fucking Christmas! I HATE CHRISTMAS! It is one big, lonely, horrifying "Why the hell should I keep breathing?" fest! It is just SO bloody hard to get through alive each time! . . - And let's not forget the official "Ross E. F. Lombardi Is A Failure Day" That I have to get through first!  On the 17th of December of each year! . And... While Strangers, Acquaintances, and Loose Friends inviting you to share Christmas SEEMS like a nice gesture... ... IT IS STILL NOT REAL! No matter how big the feast No Matter how open the bar No matter how much singing and dancing there may be. IT IS STILL NOT REAL! They are STILL Not family! . Just like comparing decaf coffee  With real coffee. . Just like comparing a one-night stand or prostitute, With making love to a wife you love, . Just like talking to a therapist Because you have no real friends to confide in.  . One is a shallow, empty version of the other. . If it is not real. Then I do not wa...

. ‘Me’, Doing My Sexy ‘over-the-shoulder’ pose. In My Teasing ‘off-the-shoulder’ look. . “I Do Feel Ever So Pretty!” “I Am A Pretty Boy” . . (Pretty sarcastic, that is…) .

A better name for "depression" ? . I nominate the term "soul rot" . . As each depression bout permanently takes a tiny bit of any "good" part of "you" each time it happens. . As the decades roll relentlessly onward. There is markedly less of "you" that is still human. . By the time you finally "give in", there is so little of "you" that was once "good" remaining, - that the final result is almost a mercy. . . I have been fighting mine for over 30 years. There is so very little of my original real self left now...

. The real problem is NOT the Middle East Or government censorship Or anything else that is particularly complicated. The problem is DEEPER! The problem is SIMPLER! . We in the UK make money by selling weapons It is THAT simple! If we don't sell weapons, we don't make enough money to survive as a nation. No weapon sales harm the UK. It reduces public services to zero! It lowers the yield on that pension you are so looking forward to. . You say you are against violence, so go on your little middle-class protests without really ever wanting to know where your pension pots are invested. Yeh, your pension and other investments ARE almost definitely blowing the legs off other fellow human beings, from the UK-made 'N sold landmines. You may never smell the sting of shit and showered blood in person - BUT you are Still responsible! . The REAL problem Is humanity's love of violence. It's romance with war. The problem is a love of fighting. It starts with macho street punch-...

Three Very Lazy knocked up Ross E F Lombardi Limericks. . There once was a poet who wrote a limerick, Who slapped lines together Sort-‘O quick, - They lazily did not put in enough effort that day, Performed it anyway, - And the tired formula allowed it still to Kind-‘O stick. . . . . . . There was once a pretentious poet from afar. For whom being overly posh was – “who they Are”, - When they whined about another poet’s lack of education. The other poet giggled, “Mutare non est meum” - Then just shrugged and added “Cantus Moriar”. . . . . . . There was once a persecuted population in past history Who shouted “Never again” to such inhumanity! - They re-committed genocide themselves anyway. Even in this modern day, - Yet were still unable to see the sick, Iconic, Ironic misery. .

. Oh, the unfortunate irony! . That you'd have to be pretty dam super stupid to go out with someone This damaged! I am Not a smart decision! (Shrug) ...while I am doomed to only being attracted to super smart, intelligent women, anyway. . So logically, If you are stupid enough to be attracted to me. Then you are far too stupid for me to be ever attracted to you. . How the hell is THAT shit ever gonna work?! I am SOOOooo  Very, VERY fucked! ...and not in a good way! . . I am one of those men who has problems with a super smart, intelligent woman... ... because They Are SO Dam HOT! . SO! Go on! Say something really clever! I double dare you! . If you want to end up stuck with me having a crush on you... .

"if you're a single man 50+ we want you at our dinners" Sayeth the AD! Except... -...NO... YOU DON'T want ME at your dinners! - You want men with a calm maturity and men that have "their shit together" , EG - 'house' 'job' 'car' etc.... You want fairly successful professional men, NOT some podgy 50-year-old train wreck, overly emotional, delusional up their own arse pseudo-intellectual who still gets all teen-style enraged at every perceived social injustice. NOT a broke on benefits bloke in a rented flat that does his laundry in two buckets in his shower cubicle. You do not want a person who IS of an E6/2 socioeconomic bracket. …yet is still able to both know exactly what that is and what that really means. You want those ‘real humans’ instead… Not the trash… …That You want to ignore in the street. - You don’t want “me”! Have you met “me”? I’m a walking, talking, scruffy social awkwardness nightmare! - - HELL! ‘I’ AM ‘me’ ...