. So, Sorry! I do apologize! I would absolutely love to stay on social media all day and get angry at the world and poison my mind and soul to do my fair part to increase page engagement and boost Ad revenue for mega-rich people. I really would! - Honest! But unfortunately, I Do have to go now! Because. apparently, "A settlement needs my help" . #Fallout4Gameplay #fallout4memes #Fallout76 #falloutnewvegas #fallout4 #fallout4mods .

. Random person - to me:  "I would not piss on you if you were on fire!" . My honest reply with a shrug: "You have good taste!" "I would not go out of my way to save 'me' either!" .

. So, my head observes, an internal scream Has larger screams that in them also howl; And these have even larger still inside them to cry “No!” And so proceed as 'Esse intus aeternum in inferno'. . Warped and corrupted by Rat Lombot from the famous flea poem by - Jonathan Swift: Poetry, a Rhapsody .

. Irony: A Definition: When I hate god. But I also, at the same time, Live my life much so closer, to those very same religious values and self-disciplines, Than any church going person I ever yet met... Maybe the godslaves should preach and prey far less and try a bit harder to live by example a bit more instead! . And I do it Without a endless golden lake of spiritual strength to tap into on a whim! I have to scrape my moral will from the bottom of my own limited mere mortal barrel! . Yet I'll get sent to hell, Because I won't bend a knee to a god who is a spoilt petulant brat. While his slaves get to waft into heaven because they lick his rusty balls and call it ice-cream! g0d? Fuck that dude! I choose to burn instead! . If you are doing good to see heaven. Then you are doing good for the wrong reason! You are just taking a bribe! . If you are doing good to avoid hell. Then you are doing it for the wrong reason  You are just cowering to intimidation. . Going good should be a

. To summarise: My life so far: . My ex-wife of 30 years "Freindzoned" me. She said, "We don't need to love eachother," "We can just have the companionship" . It is hard to accurately articulate that sort of pain. We are now divorced. . I refuse to talk to her or see her. . I was easily replaced. She is now happy with a new man. . My heart is shattered and I may never love again. . I hate her - As Hating her is the only way I can survive. Because I can not take feeling any more tears. I am simply not strong enough to take any more tears! . She gets to be happy. I do not. Nuff said. .

. Follow a leader against their enemy?  NO! DOUBLE NO! TRIPPLE NO! With ice cream and a cherry on top!  . - Better to be a murder victim of the second person - Than be a mere following bitch of the first person: - I'd do almost anything to avoid following or having to bow to anyone! . Worship any god? - I'd rather go to hell! . Show loyalty to a crown? -I would rather be hung, drawn and quartered alive in front of a cheering crowd, on Traitors' Hill! . Fight for a flag? Stick that 'bloody rag on a stick' up your arse! I am not going to kill and die just to make rich wankers richer! . Know my place? HA! Screw that shit! I will squat and poop on Their lawn! . I would rather die defiant with eyes full of rage and dissent in a shit-filled gutter...! ...Instead of being someone else's pawn in their game in a golden cage! . The following of something means being owned by that same thing! . - One exception! Only One! Just One...! . If I am ever lucky enough to fall in

. One of my kids left some sweets when they visited. I thought outloud, "Damnit!" "I'm trying to eat healthy.," "I don't want that sugar crap in my house!" . Then I corrected myself, . "I meant, dammit" "I am trying to eat healthy," "I don't want that sugar crap..." "...In this 'Rented Flat' that I am living in!" . Then a wave of sad chilly fog settled over my soul... I am over 50 and fallen from off the housing ladder, I will Now be stuck renting for the rest of my life... . I will Never be able to accurately ever say,  "My House"  Ever Again.... . . After Divorce House Wise: End of the day I should have acted like a "normal person" instead of doing the whole "moral thing"... .

  . Quote from a well-meaning friend, : "...If you can never be loved is there any point in going on about it in a way that may make people sorry for you..." . BUT... ... - That is Not how passionate creativity works! I never choose the ideas! - It is instead, the ideas that choose me! You do the creative 'thang' you are inspired to do... Whether it is a sunset, a rainbow, grief, or the way a plastic bag blows in the wind. Creativity is not about being controlled, It is about being moved to create. It is a feeling... ...with a life of its own! ...Like a fire in the blood that needs to go somewhere! .

 . YOU SHOULD ONLY BE WITH SOMEONE WHO FEELS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU... . ...for me... ...it is never gonna happen... ...it has never happened.... for me.... ever.... ...even back when i was married no one ever said to my ex-wife,  "you are lucky to have ... him " ... it was always  "you are lucky to have Her! " (...even my own mother and family always said that to me, repeatedly) ...i have Never been valued that way... ...and now i realize that i Never, ever, will... . ...i now know.. ...for sure... ..i have finally learned... ...that i can never be loved... .

. WIP . The Empty Heart Fuel Tank. By Ross E F Lombardi . When you had lots of bad memories. . Then you meet someone. . Then together You build 30 years of some good memories. . Memories that gave you strength. . Then you get dumped. . All those good memories are now ruined and become sad memories. . Because it becomes obvious that none of those shared experiences meant anything to them. . And now you have no good memories anymore. . Where can you now get your strength from?!! . What's left? .