. My birthday present for my 54th birthday. By Ross e f Lombardi. . For my birthday I would like... ...as my present... ...a "reason" . A reason to go to the doctor, If I find a mysterious lump. . A reason to call an ambulance, If I get chest pains  . A reason to hand over my money and phone, If I get mugged. . A reason to keep out out jail. A reason to behave. . A reason to keep out the hospital. A reason to live. . A reason to keep out of the grave.  . For my birthday this year. I want a reason to fear. A reason to be scared of dying. A reason that makes life worthwhile. . For this birthday I want to value my life. To worry when I get a death threat. Instead of wishing to be killed. . For my birthday. I want the emotional pain to stop. To be sane and stable. And maybe, just maybe, even be "normal"! . If I am lying on the ground and bleeding, I want for my birthday to be able to say, "I can't die here" "I need to get home to 'them'...-...