My birthday present for my 54th birthday. By Ross e f Lombardi.

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My birthday present for my 54th birthday.

By

Ross e f Lombardi.

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For my birthday I would like...

...as my present...

...a "reason"

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A reason to go to the doctor,

If I find a mysterious lump.

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A reason to call an ambulance,

If I get chest pains 

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A reason to hand over my money and phone,

If I get mugged.

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A reason to keep out out jail.

A reason to behave.

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A reason to keep out the hospital.

A reason to live.

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A reason to keep out of the grave. 

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For my birthday this year.

I want a reason to fear.

A reason to be scared of dying.

A reason that makes life worthwhile.

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For this birthday I want to value my life.

To worry when I get a death threat.

Instead of wishing to be killed.

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For my birthday.

I want the emotional pain to stop.

To be sane and stable.

And maybe, just maybe, even be "normal"!

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If I am lying on the ground and bleeding,

I want for my birthday to be able to say,

"I can't die here"

"I need to get home to 'them'...-"

Instead of

"Fuck it"

"I don't enjoy living anyway"

A reason to not just rest, bleed out and 'let go'.

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For this birthday I want a reason.

A purpose.

A cause 

A need.

A reason to keep going.

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A reason to eat healthy and brush my teeth.

A reason to exercise and wash.

This birthday I need, to be needed.

I want, to be wanted.

Hope, to have hope.

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What I want for my 54th birthday.

Is a reason to see a 55th one. 

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