. I'm not scared of dying. . I'm not scared of failing. That's just easy 'old hat' now. . I'm not scared of growing old and dying alone, it sucks but I am coming to terms with that fate. . I'm not scared of going to hell. Because god is an evil unjust entity that can go and fuck himself. . I'm not scared of loneliness. Because thats how things should be. It's the natural order of things. . But one thing DOES scare me. . But what truly terrifies me, what scares me the most, that keeps me up at night is... ... What if no matter how hard I try? No matter how hard I am on myself? How strict? How ruthless I am to myself?... ...What if? I can never really become good person? .