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What if it was me? What If I am the bad one?





?

I often question if my ex was "Bad" this way

(manipulative, controlling, narcissistic)

- Or whether I am just projecting and imagining that to make me feel better? as if me being a victim, then makes the marriage failure, somehow, ok?

- I'm I just being delusional to protect my pride?

Or was she "this"?

Is the truth somewhere in the middle?

And if so, how far along the line of that middle and in which direction?

How much was 'me' and how much was 'her'?

What if it was me? What If I am the bad one?

What if I am unknowingly the manipulative, controlling, narcissistic one and SHE is a victim, of what I am?

I’m I unknowingly, just another version of my horrible genetic father?

Am I a bad person with a thick layered mask of excuses? – Or not?

What is “Just in my head”? and what is “real”?

.

Should I even date – IF there is even the slightest chance, I am a bargain bin budget version of my abusive genetic father?

.

The constant self-doubt is not inspiring confidence to ‘move on’.
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