.
I'm not scared of dying.
.
I'm not scared of failing.
That's just easy 'old hat' now.
.
I'm not scared of growing old and dying alone, it sucks but I am coming to terms with that fate.
.
I'm not scared of going to hell.
Because god is an evil unjust entity that can go and fuck himself.
.
I'm not scared of loneliness.
Because thats how things should be.
It's the natural order of things.
.
But one thing DOES scare me.
.
But what truly terrifies me, what scares me the most, that keeps me up at night is...
... What if no matter how hard I try? No matter how hard I am on myself? How strict? How ruthless I am to myself?...
...What if?
I can never really become good person?
.
I'm not scared of dying.
.
I'm not scared of failing.
That's just easy 'old hat' now.
.
I'm not scared of growing old and dying alone, it sucks but I am coming to terms with that fate.
.
I'm not scared of going to hell.
Because god is an evil unjust entity that can go and fuck himself.
.
I'm not scared of loneliness.
Because thats how things should be.
It's the natural order of things.
.
But one thing DOES scare me.
.
But what truly terrifies me, what scares me the most, that keeps me up at night is...
... What if no matter how hard I try? No matter how hard I am on myself? How strict? How ruthless I am to myself?...
...What if?
I can never really become good person?
.
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