NONE OF US COULD BE SPARTACUS!
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There is a sword and sandal film epic called “Spartacus”
Based on a bit of possible Ancient Roman history.
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The Basic Story:
After being the ex-gladiator leader of a mass slave rebellion
Eventually, the might of the Roman army defeats the rebel heroes,
At the end everyone claims to be the hero Spartacus to show unity in the face of his death, even at the cost of their own lives.
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BUT
THAT IS NOT HOW I SEE THE HUMAN RACE ACTUALLY IS!
Not even close!
I think the human race is more like THIS!
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Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform:
(His men around him don’t recognise him, or care – the sun is hot, they are sweaty and tired, and they just want to go home.)
“Give me Spartacus and the rest of you may live!”
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Random crowd member 1:
“HIM!”
“Him over there is Spartacus!”
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Random crowd member 2:
“NO!”
“He is Spartacus!”
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Random crowd member 3:
“NO!”
“That person is Spartacus”
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Random crowd member 4:
“No! Get that man! He is Spartacus!”
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Random crowd member 5:
“I know Spartacus intimately, He is Spartacus!
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Random crowd member 6:
“No, I am not!”
“You are Spartacus!”
“You Git!”
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Random crowd member 5:
“Yes,”
“You are!!”
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Random crowd member 6:
“No”
“You are!”
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Random crowd member 5:
“No, You!”
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Random crowd member 7:
“Neither of them is Spartacus!”
“That person over there who constantly hums annoyingly”
“HE is Spartacus!”
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Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform:
“Really?!”
“That little wimp?”
“He’s a champion of champion ex-gladiator, is he?”
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Random crowd member 7:
“He is constantly irritating enough to count as Spartacus!”
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Random crowd member 8:
“Mmmmmmm,”
“mmmmmm,
“mmmmmmm!”
“Errr?”
“What?”
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Random crowd member 7:
“SHUT UP!”
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Random crowd member 8:
“Oops!”
“Sorry!”
“Mmmmmmm,”
“mmmmmm…”
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Random crowd member 9:
“He is Spartacus”
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Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform:
“You are pointing to the Roman officer standing next to me”
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Random crowd member 9:
“Well,”
<shrugging>
“He might be?”
“Have you tried asking him?”
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Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform:
“You are a totally insane absolute moron!”
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Random crowd member 7 or maybe its Random crowd member 10 who looks suspiciously like Random crowd member 7 but with a weird unlikely moustache:
“That person over there who constantly hums annoyingly”
“I am certain he is the Real Spartacus!”
“Honest guv!!”
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Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform:
“You already tried that!”
“You are just wearing an obviously fake Mustache to try and get him killed”
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Random crowd member 7:
“But I really,”
“Really,”
“REALLY hate him!”
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Random crowd member 8:
“Mmmmmmm,”
“mmmmmm…”
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Random crowd member 7:
“SHUT UP!”
“JUST STOP EXISTING!”
“I HATE YOU”
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Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform:
<Turning to Random crowd member 10 who looks suspiciously like Random crowd member 7 but with a weird unlikely moustache:>
“What your name then?”
“If it is Not Spartacus!?”
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Random crowd member 10 who is also Random crowd member 7.
“Karren-Toss”
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Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform:
“Yeh,”
“It figures,”
“I should have guessed!”
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Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform:
(He is dressed as an officer - So he must be an officer.)
“Enough of this crap!”
“I don’t care who the real Spartacus is anymore”
“As the real so-called hero is too cowardly to die for any of you…”
“Crucify them ALL!”
“Let the gods sort it out!
The Roman officer then half turns in anger and disgust as he goes to leave,
“And make it extra painful for each of them!”
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The sour punchline?
Roman officer in an ill-fitting uniform was the real Spartacus all along:
He managed to slip out of his shackles and kill a Roman officer and steal his uniform while he slept.
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The Moral:
All humans are innately shit and no one is worth saving.
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THAT IS HOW I SEE THE WHOLE OF THE HUMAN RACE!
A below average yellow dog turd with yellow flecks and tapeworm on the surface,
has more nobility,
Then that of an above-average human!
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