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Scene: Accient Egyptian underworld. .

 . 
 Scene: 
 Accient Egyptian underworld. 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "Behold fearful little mortal" 
 "For I, Anubis will now judge you!" 
. 
 Me: 
 "Watcha mate" 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "Behold the scales of  judgement" 
 . 
 Me: 
 "They look nice" 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "And your heart will be weighed against this feather" 
 "If your heart is too heavy," 
 "- if it is heavier than the feather you will be doomed!" 
 . 
 Me: 
 "Pretty feather" 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "Behold your heart!" 
 . 
 Me: 
 "Well that pinched and stung a bit' 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "I will now lift your heart onto the scales..." 
 (Sounds of straining) 
 . 
 Me 
 "Is there a problem?" 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "I can't lift it!" 
 . 
 Me 
 "Well that makes sense" 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "But I have the strength of a god!' 
 "This can not be!" 
 . 
 Me: 
 "Oh well..." 
 (Shrugging) 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "Clearly it will be heavier than the feather!" 
 . 
 Me: 
 "So??" 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "So you are the most doomed mortal ever" 
 . 
 Me: 
 (Smiling) 
 Only if you can weight it on the scales. 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "But I can't bloody well lift it onto the fucking scales can I?!!" 
 . 
 Me: 
 "That sounds like a 'you' problem to me" 
 "If you can't weigh it against the feather then I get a free pass..." 
 "Them's your own rules," 
 "You dickhead" 
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "You smug bastard!" 
 "How this shit happen?!' 
 . 
 Me: 
 "My heart has wept and bled for the world all my life" 
 "I woke hearing the entire worlds screams every morning" 
 "I have unfairly carried the weight of the world in that thing for far to long" 
 "While others just prayed I actually cared" 
 "But I was powerless to do anything for anyone" 
 "THAT is why it is That Heavy with sorrow and despair" 
 "So if course a little mere god like you can never hope lift it!"  
 . 
 Anubis: 
 "......" 

 . 
 Me: 
 "Now..." 
 (With a joyless grin)  
 "...Get out..." 
 (Eyes narrowing) 
 "...Of..." 
 " ...my way!..." 
 . 
Ranted At You By

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