.  I hate my ex wife. She dumbed me after 30 years.  I refuse to see or speak to her ever again.  . Not because she is evil,  Because she is Not evil.  There was no infidelity on either side,  She just fell out of love with me.  She wanted us to stay "Freinds".  (I am too weak to do that.) .  Not because it is morally right to do,  Because it is Not morally right to do.  She does Not deserve to be hated this way. .  But because I need to.  It's the only way I can survive this level of pain and hope to move on. Anger is easier than tears.  . I don't hate her, to punish her.  I hate her, to save me. .  I hate her so I can survive.

  As a Man I look at all the sexual abuse, rapes, violence and intimidation that us men do And it makes me feel SO ashamed of being a man That I want to rip my own balls off with my bare hands ?! Seriously? How can the rest of you blokes be so delusional and fucked up that you can take any pride at all, in your manhood? I’m finding myself constantly, increasingly sickened by what we are. . . ... I would really, Really, REALLY like my nightmares to stop now.  - I want to be allowed to have a good nights sleep. .

When I feel rejected or alienated. I shouldn't dig at people. It's no one's fault that I don't belong anywhere. Not even mine. . It's just how the dice rolled. Some are born with no legs or blind Some are born impared in other ways. I was born, 'wrong', 'slightly off' and 'too different but in a bad way', ...and people naturally sense that and instinctively back away. . - It's a healthy normal survival reaction to have. So I shouldn't pick on people or poke at them for it.

. Why I'd never vote 'reform uk' : . Because I was taught that a real UK patriots fight naz1s. - NOT vote for them. . So if you vote reform, Then, Piss off you fifth filth colonist naz1 traitor. . For once, let's Not copy the USA and be as stupid as they have been! Let not Not be corporate America's little side bitch, yet again. . Let's Not vote in our own budget bargain basement mini shriveled pocket trump! . .

Dear, Anyone who thinks I either flirted with them, or ‘chatted them up’ lately, NO, I DID NOT. I have given up on romantic stuff for quite a while now. That why I now have the scruffy ugly beard and not bothered with a haircut. Because I don’t need to look attractive to anyone anymore! If that ever changes, If I ever become that deluded and stupid again Then I will start shaving again and get a haircut. So, relax I have given up, I just ain’t interested anymore.

. Overtired, Dull “Plot Twist” that were kind of obviously always gonna happen in the later seasons. That we wish had never happened. . . When the vampire hunter, Becomes a Vampire. . When a Werewolf Hunter, Get infected with lycanthropy . When the exorcist, Becomes possessed . When the Femme fatale, Betrays the private investigator. . When the Hero, Becomes the main villain of the story Arch . . When the government that defended the world against rogue states . Becomes the worst, most evil, rogue state to have ever existed. . . The beyond time and space, three immortal spinners of causality and earthly fate, Clearly, no longer have a passion for their purpose, And are just “phoning it in” now. .

.  HELP  a poem...  By Ross E F Lombardi . You don't want to ask for help You resist asking for help with all you might, You hold out from asking for help for as long as you can. You avoid asking for any help - like the plague, Asking for help is a last resort. Suffering seems a much better option... Almost anything is better than getting help. . Because your toddler past taught you how painful it was To ask for help. To cry quietly in a corner in terror, Wanting the simple comfort that any scared child would want. THEN be rejected. You soul remembers that pain. . The child learns not to ask or expect. . So, now as an adult When you are already in more pain than you can stand. In more fear than you can cope with. You dare not risk adding to it, By asking for help again. . Because another “No” would break us. And we are trying to survive in a world we have no faith in. . And THAT is why Some of us never want to, – Never dare to, – Or have the courage to - ask for help! .

3 Simple Things     #Morality   #Lifehack   #good   #ethics  

Art film idea: Draw a load of little Saint George flags On squares of toilet paper Then film me wiping my arse with them Then post it everywhere: . If I get depressed enough, I may do this... And as Christmas time is hellishly depressing – it very well might get created. After all, <shrug> what possible reason do I have to survive? Why grow old and die slowly and painfully – when you can go quick and destroy some lives in the process instead? . . My posts would be less extreme and weird if I went out dancing more to vent the negative and gain strength from seeing strangers enjoying themselves. . And I would go out dancing more if I felt safer. . And less weird posts mean less offensive stuff that makes people mad. . So. The line of logical causality starts with me feeling safer to go out more, so I go out even more, then even more, until I hardly bother with social media at all. . But feeling trapped at home with nothing but social media to connect me to the world. Leads t...

  My Entry in to the Middlesbrough The Werd Art Heist Exhibition  at Pineapple Black   For Middlesbrough Art Week 2025     .   #TheWerd   #opencallforartists    #middlesbroughartweek    #northeastcreatives   #Art   #SurrealArt  

 . Personally I think... ... My best shot at surviving my depressive illnesses... …In my opinion… ... Is in finding definition, validation and meaning by helping others, helping the helpless, who really need my help. . This means Not obsessing over a lack of a romantic relationship. This means Not obsessing over a lack of career. This means Not judging myself because of my lack of money, assets and the status that goes with them. This means that although I do art and writing, I still should Not chase kudos or approval and validation from my fellow artist and others in the creative field. THIS MEANS NOT MAKING ‘MY  WORLD’ ABOUT ‘ME’ !                 …And INSTEAD make the world about others! . This won’t be achieved overnight. It will take a ton of gradual work. And I will fall of the waggon more than a few times, reverting to more myopic thinking, Reverting to attacking myself ...

! Sadness is knowing there is no point playing the national lottery. . Because even if you won? Who the hell are you going share it with? . What? Just the new using people who like your money?! . If there is no one worth sharing my poverty with now - then there is no one there worth sharing a lottery win with, then, either! . So, There is absolutely no point in buying a lottery ticket! !

Fake bigots? Saying shit for money? That's kinda Far Worse, ! Yes, Genuine bigots Are evil. But at least they have the integrity to stubbornly stick to their stupidity. - That sort of stubbornness, I can at least sorta begrudgingly respect... Ish... on some level… ! BUT Selling out who you are? for coin? Is just gross lowest shit...

These are just some harmless tiny art photos about some free watermelons. That is all that they are.  

. Going Down The Tubes. By Ross E F Lombardi . The pipes are leaking The relentlessly hungry drain in gapping The fingers are clawing, At the edges of this greasy sink . I am sliding. . Everything I do is just a distraction. Bubble gum, tape and oil to patch the problem. But even as I fight to jerry fix this blue smoking engine I know, that eventually it will inevitably fail. As the plug hole gurgles and pulls me down. . I struggle to keep going. I go down flailing wildly - with unreal smiles and puns. I try my hardest to move forward Yet fighting to just stay Still - and yet Still failing. Knowing I can never win, - I keep holding on anyway. . This cannot be done This is impossible to do My fingers ache, the happy mask slips, I lose a few more precious inches - as a dry tear is privately shed. The drain sucking at my scrambling feet. - "why do I keep fighting this??" . All I have are delaying actions The temporary solutions, - is all I got. I'm running out of gum I'm...

 . If you don’t like your job You could, theoretically, look for a new one… …OR… …Instead… ...Perhaps… ...Secretly Untraceably sabotage your present position. An extra bit more to each customers food portion. Double print and send despatch notes. Loose billing files stuff. General go the extra mile, in a way. for the less valued clients that would be disapproved of. (if known about) Ect, All the while acting grateful and smiling and making no open fuss. Acting like a modest and compliment employee. Be constantly spiteful to your boss’s boss, but keep your spite a carefully guarded secret. (Use that extra bit of degree separation between your direct boss and their boss further above, to hide your true intentions.) Make everyone else think you’re a brown nose. (If your colleague dislike you for that, your management will trust you more with stuff – that you can use against them all later! – Even use that it to secretly help your colleagues in ways that t...

. HEROES ALL. By Ross E F Lombardi. . I raise this glass in cheer. A toast... To those looking at a ceiling. To those crying without tears. To those desperate to give up but never quitting. To those hiding who they are. The struggling. Those in pain. Who look normal. Unremarkable, Merely average. To those unnoticed in mass media, in life, in history. To every lost name. Not just men or women or gender x. Everyone. - This is a quiet shared dignity of humanity at its humble finest. - For every one single, ass hole, For every one single, evil spiteful bitch, For every one single, brutal vicious scary bastard, We humans still have 10 of these people. 10 healers 10 councillors 10 helpers 10 builders 10 gentle guides 10 protectors 10 egoless teachers and passionate students of life. 10 merciful, forgiving and kind. Or 10 people who worry and care about others. . Do not let the noisy loud and crass peices of human garbage. Make you forget all the silently stubborn powerful heros that make li...

? When somone claims... I Don't need a "man" OR I Don't need a "woman" - I always thought feeling an irrational need for each other was just a normal ‘part and parcel’ of feeling and being in love with one another??!! - When did that stop happening??!!

. ROLL THE DICE. By Ross E F Lombardi . I care deeply about social justice issues I care more than it is healthy to do so, I cause’s me mental illness and emotional pain, As if I just cannot stop hearing the screams of the entire world. So when a sarcastic meme popped up, saying, (And I’ll have to paraphrase here) . “Men keep suggesting that lesbians just have not tired good enough dick yet Those men should try a load of dick themselves, if it is do great” . …Or words to that effect, . And it being the internet,   I decide to chip in my own two cents Like any other normal common shit head would. . “If they are a lesbian. Then why even think that? Why not just be bros. I think it would be cool to check out chicks together with a lesbian female platonic friend. Just think of all the cool conversations you could have, that a male friend would be too upright to talk about. Plus have you heard of OTEP? Rock Lesbian have the coolest taste...

. Teach you kids early - Safe adults don’t ask children to keep secrets , Ever –. . Accept when there IS a good (although thankfully very rare) exception. . When I was just 11, I was reluctantly introduced to my genetic father for the first time, since I was 3. I was grilled and rehearsed over and over again and official cover story, to keep loads of secrets from him. So yes, - I was told to keep secrets. - As I spent time with him he kept trying to trick me into revealing stuff all the time. . Despite and the gifts and treats, It was a stressful nightmare each year, Playing this verbal cat and mouse game vs an adult. . - Years later I found out why. IF he had gotten the information he wanted from me, got past my defences, people would have gotten killed by the psychotic misogynist bastard! My younger brother, as a child form another man, - DEAD My father, Who I call "Dad", Mr Lombardi, a good man – DEAD My Mum – After some nasty stuff done to her first, – DEAD And me whis...