.
Potential Project
Silver Mouse 13742
499
.
.
Attracted?
To me?
.
Note to self:
Potential Project.
Silver Mouse 13742
.
From the 26th of the 3rd month 2025
Till 19th of the 7th Month 2026
.
480
.
.Potential Project.
Silver Mouse 13742
.
From the 26th of the 3rd month 2025
Till 19th of the 7th Month 2026
.
480
.
Potential Project
Silver Mouse 13742
499
.
Note:
Text made extra small and hard to read on purpose...
Attracted?
To me?
.
Romantically Speaking:
They aren't!
Being loved is NOT one of my abilities or talents.
.
I have to learn to come to peace with that if I ever want some shadow of some version of happiness.
- I must find a different, better way, of giving my life substance and meaning.
Some definition beyond my own identity and mere happiness.
.
Don't get me wrong!
I have a high sex drive and am hellish romantic!
.
BUT instead of spending the rest of my life feeling lonely and whining like a little bitch about it.
I should instead take ownership of who I am and accept the situation instead.
.
- So,
To that end, I am going to wait until my E-Harmoney subscription (that I am stuck with) runs out on the 19th of July 2026,
THEN (if I am still single)
Take a vow of celibacy (including no porn or masturbation)
- Also quit meat.
- Start collecting religious works of all faiths and creeds, including occult and myth works.
And start a non-secular monk life of religious study and reading. Publishing comparative religious studies every few months.
Become a non-religious, gnostic, freestyle, independent academic.
They aren't!
Being loved is NOT one of my abilities or talents.
.
I have to learn to come to peace with that if I ever want some shadow of some version of happiness.
- I must find a different, better way, of giving my life substance and meaning.
Some definition beyond my own identity and mere happiness.
.
Don't get me wrong!
I have a high sex drive and am hellish romantic!
.
BUT instead of spending the rest of my life feeling lonely and whining like a little bitch about it.
I should instead take ownership of who I am and accept the situation instead.
.
- So,
To that end, I am going to wait until my E-Harmoney subscription (that I am stuck with) runs out on the 19th of July 2026,
THEN (if I am still single)
Take a vow of celibacy (including no porn or masturbation)
- Also quit meat.
- Start collecting religious works of all faiths and creeds, including occult and myth works.
And start a non-secular monk life of religious study and reading. Publishing comparative religious studies every few months.
Become a non-religious, gnostic, freestyle, independent academic.
.
Work on physical fitness and keep basics hygiene,
- But stop wasting resources and time on aesthetic looks. (aftershave and nice clothes etc)
And use my creative talents to help charities and social cause's.
.
This way, I regain control of my life and purpose and not waste it on desires that can never be.
- I call it project "Silver Mouse"
.
- Hope invites pain,
If I can learn, somehow, to "Give up" instead,
And make do with the life I have,
It might give me peace of mind.
- A peace of mind I never had before
- If I could, somehow, learn to quit hoping for more,
Then, finally, I might be able to learn how to be happy!
.
- But I am not doing any of this until my E-Harmony Subscription (that I am stuck with) runs out.
.
- So,
If the universe still wants me to still be part of a couple,
Then it has a deadline to beat!
.
- But stop wasting resources and time on aesthetic looks. (aftershave and nice clothes etc)
And use my creative talents to help charities and social cause's.
.
This way, I regain control of my life and purpose and not waste it on desires that can never be.
- I call it project "Silver Mouse"
.
- Hope invites pain,
If I can learn, somehow, to "Give up" instead,
And make do with the life I have,
It might give me peace of mind.
- A peace of mind I never had before
- If I could, somehow, learn to quit hoping for more,
Then, finally, I might be able to learn how to be happy!
.
- But I am not doing any of this until my E-Harmony Subscription (that I am stuck with) runs out.
.
- So,
If the universe still wants me to still be part of a couple,
Then it has a deadline to beat!
.
.
WHY?
I have been having serious doubts about my "life path" for quite a while now.
The current path of = (becoming a known as a writer and artist, creative, fall in love again and work towards some happy ever after.)
- I am not sure this is the path I should be on.
It almost seems like a just a slightly "cooler" version of the same bog-standard career and relationship path that everyone else is on.
But under the bright packaging, the contents are exactly the same as a career in accountancy, or management or any other professional wheel.
It is just yet more chasing of money, reputation and status under a different mask.
With a search for love also being just the private life equivalent of exactly the same thing.
- I am kinda hoping for a random sign that I am using my life the right way.
- Basically, if I don't get a major sign or breakthrough by the end of April, then I feel I need to ask myself some serious questions about personal purpose and meaning.
- I'm not saying that I am going to join some religion or become a Buddhist as such.
I have been having serious doubts about my "life path" for quite a while now.
The current path of = (becoming a known as a writer and artist, creative, fall in love again and work towards some happy ever after.)
- I am not sure this is the path I should be on.
It almost seems like a just a slightly "cooler" version of the same bog-standard career and relationship path that everyone else is on.
But under the bright packaging, the contents are exactly the same as a career in accountancy, or management or any other professional wheel.
It is just yet more chasing of money, reputation and status under a different mask.
With a search for love also being just the private life equivalent of exactly the same thing.
- I am kinda hoping for a random sign that I am using my life the right way.
- Basically, if I don't get a major sign or breakthrough by the end of April, then I feel I need to ask myself some serious questions about personal purpose and meaning.
- I'm not saying that I am going to join some religion or become a Buddhist as such.
But I am saying that I should at least have a real think about what I want and how to achieve it.
And by that I mean What I really Need,
Not what I am supposed to merely Want.
And by that I mean What I really Need,
Not what I am supposed to merely Want.
Posts
Comments
Post a Comment