.
SHIT!
- Only 100 Days until Fucking Christmas!
I HATE CHRISTMAS!
It is one big, lonely, horrifying "Why the hell should I keep breathing?" fest!
It is just SO bloody hard to get through alive each time!
..
- And let's not forget the official
"Ross E. F. Lombardi Is A Failure Day"
That I have to get through first!
- Only 100 Days until Fucking Christmas!
I HATE CHRISTMAS!
It is one big, lonely, horrifying "Why the hell should I keep breathing?" fest!
It is just SO bloody hard to get through alive each time!
..
- And let's not forget the official
"Ross E. F. Lombardi Is A Failure Day"
That I have to get through first!
On the 17th of December of each year!
.
And...
And...
While Strangers, Acquaintances, and Loose Friends inviting you to share Christmas SEEMS like a nice gesture...
...IT IS STILL NOT REAL!
No matter how big the feast
No Matter how open the bar
No matter how much singing and dancing there may be.
IT IS STILL NOT REAL!
They are STILL Not family!
.
Just like comparing decaf coffee
With real coffee.
.
Just like comparing a one-night stand or prostitute,
With making love to a wife you love,
.
Just like talking to a therapist
Because you have no real friends to confide in.
.
One is a shallow, empty version of the other.
.
If it is not real.
Then I do not want it!
It would only make me feel worse
and remind me of what I can never really have!
.
And that is
And that is
"Being part of a family" again...
.
I do not want to "fake it".
Because that just cheapens the valued memory and disrespects what I once had.
I do not want to "fake it".
Because that just cheapens the valued memory and disrespects what I once had.
.
And that Was...
"Being part of a family"...
.

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