I WAS going to start "project eclipse" in August. Where I give up on everything and everyone and just spend the rest of my life, ignoring social issues, playing vid games and watching TV, waiting to die of old age.... Not aspiring to do anything or be anything. Just another DWP mental health vegetable waiting to rot, unwashed in my grubby, tapped up, couch. . No more writing . No more art . BUT There IS that "hail Mary pass" official tees valley poet thang... A last Very unlikely throw of the dice... ...to be anything other than just another skutter podgy old bloke in a bedsit... So, I will fill out that application tomorrow afternoon. Send it in. And THEN WHEN I DO get rejected for THAT. THEN I can do "project eclipse" and give up on everything and everyone. . THEN, after it is certain, for sure, that I am a true proper failure, I can isolate myself from the entire world, stop trying to go out and stop trying to have a life. Quit Grow old alone Then eve...

. A Woman is not being 'too difficult', She is just being as difficult as any man. . It is, as if, men are allowed to be 80% difficult, stubborn or ruthless. But women are only allowed to be 60% difficult, stubborn or ruthless. Instead of both being allowed to be 100% human. . A man is not being 'too emotional'. He is just being as emotional as any woman. It is, as if, women are allowed to be 60% emotional, gentle and caring or broken hearted. But men are only allowed to be 40% emotional, gentle and caring or broken hearted. Instead of both being allowed to be 100% human. . Maybe the world would be slightly better for everyone. If everyone was allowed to just be 100% themselves. Instead of some bullshit inherited list of gender expectations. . Well I am a man. But more importantly I am foremost 100% human. I Do feel stuff. And I am allowed to feel stuff as deeply and as long as I need to. . I do not owe anyone "more manly", "tougher" "less emot...

. 'IF' I ever call a woman a Bitch . Then I mean it as a compliment As for me: Nothing is more ugly than weakness . In the same vain I am happy to be called a "Son of a bitch" Because my mum Jackie was no wussy pushover. . I spent nearly 30 years romanticly grafted on to a wet noodle. Stuck attached to a woman with all the moral courage of a constantly frightened pigeon. To a - "but - what will the neighbours think?"  - snobby personality. To a lass that folds like a wet tissue paper bag rather than ever dare question authority or anyone in an official uniform. To a mentally of a tiny girl in a schoolyard constantly looking for the teachers approval. A sickening 'god slave' conformist that cares more about only appearing to do what is right - instead of ever risking to actually Do what is right. Would never call my ex wife (Susan Chapman of Redcar) a "Bitch". A "weak shitty little civil servant bootlicker" , yes. A "a mean ...

 The most painful physical experience I have ever been through?? Being discarded like garbage by the life partner you loved for 30 years Then bring expected to somehow "just get over it" as if it were just random mere brief three months dating period in your 20s. Then Trying to piece together what's left of your shattered core self at over 50. While they happily move on with someone new while claiming that you are "overreacting". . I don't care what sexuality or gender you are. This is not a gender war thang! The fact I happen to be a straight man being dumped by a wife is immaterial. As a fellow human being, just like you. It is the most painful thing I have ever been through. And "yes" , It Does manafest as an actual physical pain ....

Pain Farmers - By Ross e f Lombardi. . Well... I'm over 50. There goes my marriage. That didn't work. Just stonewalling, left feeling useless. Left eating dirt. . The harvesters say Tired of being alone? Times are different today. Try our online dating! Let us show you how! . Well... Ok... That didn't work. Just spending money, left feeling lonely. - Left feeling hurt. . More harvesters claim. Tired of the usual dating sites? Ours is different... - ...Honest! Let's show you how! . Well... Crap... That didn't work. Just spending cash, Still left feeling lonely. - Still Left feeling burnt. . Harvesters are... Making Him scared to grow old. Times have changed today. But She says that she is different. And wants to show you how! . Well... Hot Dam! That didn't even work a bit! Spending credit, Being used. - Left eating shit. . Harvesters are benefiting.. From Her being frightened to walk home. World is scary today. But he says that he is different. And wants to sh...

Ok. I dare to ask ..  what sort of any person, of any gender, who actually likes sex .. wants any sort of sexual partner who is Less experienced and less skilled?? How does that make any sense? How is a high body count not a good thing? Why the hell would I want to date a woman with a crap low body count? If I could date an experienced erotically skilled woman instead? If would like choosing the worst mechanic, chief, or heart surgeon instead of the best one available. I want the best not the worst! I want the veteran head of department not some green intern.

Following news about AIs and Their devastating effects on young minds. I wrote this to my own kids. (Censored to remove Their names) . There has been a few teen suicides and loads of reports of teen self harm by victims being emotionally attached to chat bot AI "relationships".  I know both of you are smart but you are also both the sort of loner types that could have problems in that area.  So just be aware. Obviously I'm more worried about (younger daughter) due to age and social anxiety issues. But (older son) is still not exempt.. Just remind yourselves that chat bots are not real people and that they do not have any real feelings to hurt. They are designed to just get as much 'engagement' from user as possible, by any manipulative means nesscisary. They don't really "miss you" They can not "love you",  They are incapable of actually "careing" about, your views, lives or your opinions about anything.  They can not really ...

. Title: PAIN-SCAPE . Size A3 . Acylic on canvas . (Paint still wet at the time the photo was taken) . . .

! "nice" and "good" are VERY different things. ! I have known plenty of evil people who are "nice" and because if that they have loads of 'freinds' And a few truly "good" people who were grumpy charmless Arse-Holes. ! But they were grumpy charmless Arse-Holes because there were too busy rolling up Thier sleeves and getting their hands dirty helping others who needed help. ! So busy with being truly good people, - that they didn't have time to waste with fake nice charm bull crap! !

. I DO want to fight bigotry in my fiction stories. However though… ? As a heterosexual writer (A totally UNsuccessful one that no one will read anyway) with a gay daughter I am almost scared of including gay, trans or even just black characters in my writing… I see the injustice of bigotry all around me everyday BUT I will never really KNOW or really Experience that same bigotry the same way. Who the hell am I to use those characters and try to reflect their life experience’s! An experience that I am not entitled to reflect. Sure I can write other types of character that are nothing like myself… Different backgrounds and backstories in general… Hitmen, gangsters, prostitutes, rich people, charming people, murderers and saints, ect BUT Character from minority backgrounds??! Who suffer That sort of hate for no good reason??! Do I have the right to even pretend I could possibly ever really understand? ? Because it feels disrespectful to even attempt. It feels immoral to do. It feels wro...

 Yeh,  "overseas brides"!  because nothing says "real man" more than taking economic advantage of a financial disparity of power, To partly treat you "purchased" "wife" as an indentured "full service" servant. Isolated from home, support and family, with a gross man twice their age. . THAT sounds well romantic, That does! Lovely! Especially if they are from an active battle zone where civilians are at active risk of war crimes. That's Not disgusting at all! You get to "save them" (Unless they fail to "make it work" and you send them back into that horrific danger - you must get value for your money  afterall!) . That doesn't make those "men" good old fashioned style "colonialist imperialist scum" at all, honest gov, not even a tiny little bit, ...much... ... according to some.... ... apparently... . . (Add your own dark bitter sarcastic tone to the above... I'll be too busy vomiting....

. .  Apparently…   Fake Facebook "Person" accounts are popping up...  Destroying people’s reputations by pretending to be them... . ALSO Apparently You CAN protect yourself from This soul crushing thing happening to you… by having a Facebook verified account... . But despite initial appearances, this IS NOT Facebook being money grabbing arseholes by trying to have people strongarmed into paying them a monthly subscription... It is NOT any form of protection racket And no one should expect a reasonable amount of account protection, as standard, for free... . (Despite all your usage data being for sale at 12$ a pop) (And Meta allowed to use all posted images to train their AI’s) (And all the content You may create for Mata for absolutely nothing) … Apparently…

. I have certain reservations  By  Ross r f lombardi . I am not convinced that the 'male lonlyness epidemic',  is a 'bad thing' I am not convinced the high male suicide rate, Is a 'bad thing' I am not entirely sure, at all, that, 'Life is sacred' . I look at this human world, It's ridiculous excuses to hate,  The stupid flag waving wars. Its sickening rapes and tortures. And it makes me sigh  It makes me have doubts Makes me want the whole  human race entirety extinct. . And I could do that... We can all do that... We can all kill our entire grotesque species off... We all have that divine power, - that ability, To destroy this horedious world. It's easy! . All any off us have to do... Is do nothing... As inaction is still a choice, Still an option, Still has consequences. . Just sit back, On your arse  Shove on a tv soap, Or some football. Crack a beer and a smoke,  And do fuck all, -  to stop it all. Simply let the world bloody burn! . Dona...

. My birthday present for my 54th birthday. By Ross e f Lombardi. . For my birthday I would like... ...as my present... ...a "reason" . A reason to go to the doctor, If I find a mysterious lump. . A reason to call an ambulance, If I get chest pains  . A reason to hand over my money and phone, If I get mugged. . A reason to keep out out jail. A reason to behave. . A reason to keep out the hospital. A reason to live. . A reason to keep out of the grave.  . For my birthday this year. I want a reason to fear. A reason to be scared of dying. A reason that makes life worthwhile. . For this birthday I want to value my life. To worry when I get a death threat. Instead of wishing to be killed. . For my birthday. I want the emotional pain to stop. To be sane and stable. And maybe, just maybe, even be "normal"! . If I am lying on the ground and bleeding, I want for my birthday to be able to say, "I can't die here" "I need to get home to 'them'...-...

! One of my TOP annoying things!? . Attractive people, of any gender, who lecture on shallowness! "Oh no!” “People only like me because of my looks" "They are so shallow"... Hold my salt tear filled beer! FFS! . I can ignore most normal bullshit outside intimidation. BUT I DO often run home from a night out, early, from looking in the wrong mirror! . If I ever managed to get to an ideal weight, Wore a ten-thousand-dollar suit And spent 3 hours to make myself look my absolute best? You’d still throw yourself out of a ten-story window, if you had to look that bad for over three days! . Even with Nanotech and a mass spectrometer, you can’t make a violin small enough for your dire trite crap! . If I had a gene with three wishes, It would still take the power of all three combined to look a quarter as good as you lot do… … on your scruffiest, grungiest day, sleep deprived, covered in vomit and a pants full of shit from a fourth day of food poisoning! . Look, I’m ...

. My sarcastic dark satire of how I feel rankings of various human groups are seen by everyone else.... 2026 Based solely on my own warped and bitter perspective after paying £30 to get into Blackpool Pleasure Beach... By my self... alone... With zero evidence to back this crap up. And written on the note pad of my phone, hence all the text mistakes. . RANK 1: The Highest Rank! Couples with kids. Kings and queens of the world. Pretty much, what we are all told, what we want to be. (Despite whether that is actually true or not) . Rank 2: The Second Highest Rank Couples with no kids. Whether it is the young couple destined to change their mind. Or the old couple proving to the world that 'you can love again' These are the dukes and duchess's of the human race ... . Rank 3: The Third Highest Rank Single women who are happy being single... Knights of the court... 'You Go Girl' You don't need no one! (Until you do ...) . Rank 4: The Plebs Single women who are rom...

! WARNING! Fascist does Not mean stupid,! . My own genetic father was a die hard nazi worshiper.  He was a thug,  a criminal  and a base wife beating bully. But He was also Very smart. He failed in the education system but he did teach himself fluent German from scratch from just books found at  bootsales and later German films. He later taught himself other languages. - Here is the dangerous assumption... Fascist are NOT all stupid! And the constant thicko mask too many of us keep believing is a real danger! They know human nature, advanced psychology ect. Many of them are also fantastic financial book cookers and skimmers,  Able to hide and move huge amounts of illicit money around.  And Their biggest, most dangerous weapon? Is making others constantly underestimate them! They are not stupid! They are evil, yes. They are violent, yes They are ruthless, also yes. But they are Not stupid! But underestimating then IS! . And falling for that 'stupidity facard...